Guilt-free Writing Time

This update is a little late because I was in Utah over the weekend celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday. Fortunately, I was able to use my tablet to keep to my writing schedule while riding in the car on the way there and back. Without a WiFi connection, I couldn't access many of my notes, drafts, and reference articles, because they're all stored on Dropbox and apparently it didn't all sync to my tablet because I haven't been using my tablet nearly as much since I finally got a smartphone. That made it a little harder to put my writing time to as good a use as I would have liked, but I still wrote something. This potential problem with my writing infrastructure will have to be addressed in the near future.

The other thing I had to deal with last week was guilt-induced writer's block. See, I had this pile of student papers to grade, and I should have had them finished by the end of the previous week. So on Monday morning when I was trying to write, all I could think about was those papers that I still needed to grade. After 45 minutes of non-productivity, I gave into the guilt and went back to grading. The same thing happened Tuesday afternoon. On Wednesday morning, however, although I still wasn't done grading (it was a particularly arduous grading process for various reasons), as I sat down at my computer, my internal voice was telling me "I have to write now, even though the grading isn't done."

That "I have to write now" didn't feel good at all. Then it occurred to me that no, I don't have to write during my writing time--or any time, actually. But the whole point of having writing time set aside is that it means I get to write then, totally guilt-free, no matter what else I have to do that day, or that week, because writing time is writing time. Not grading time. Not answering frantic student emails time. Not helping friends' daughters with their Language Arts homework over the phone time. All that other stuff is what the rest of my time is for.

For two hours a day, I get to work on my own writing, without worrying about anything else. Writing time is guilt-free writing time. 

That was a tremendous realization for me. It probably shouldn't have been, but I'm just thick like that sometimes. The other thing that I had to do this past week was turn off literally every notification I could find on my computer, my tablet, and my smart phone. Notifications are my enemy. They make me feel bad about the things I'm not paying attention to right now, as opposed to being fully engaged with what I am doing right now.

Anyway, I'm still well behind schedule, but I'm still making progress. I've reached a point where I need to go back and re-read some Kenneth Burke, to clarify my definition of his comic frame and figure out how it maps onto the concepts of techne and phronesis. Reading Burke is fun, in the same way that opening clamshell packaging is fun. It's ridiculously hard but the goods inside are usually worth the challenge.

In other news, my housemate Stephanie got left behind this weekend as the rest of us were traveling. Apparently, she got a little lonely, and couldn't stand to wait any longer to buy my Christmas present. But she got attached to him herself over the weekend, so we're going to have joint custody of this beautiful little guy (I can't blame her. He's so relaxing to watch). He needs a name. Right now I'm thinking about Kazran, Rory, or Jim the Fish.

Episteme, Techne, Phronesis (AcWriMo Update)

Having a schedule of specific times for writing every day is helping, though I missed Tuesday entirely, had to bump my writing time to later in the day on Monday because of a doctor's appointment, and seriously overslept on Friday. It is challenging to change from a habit of fitting my writing time around everything else in my life, to fitting everything else around my writing time. Still, other than Tuesday I did spend at least 2 hours writing, or doing writing-related reading every day this week, and as a result I have written 1300 more words for my first portfolio paper--not even remotely close to my goal, but progress nonetheless. I have also written about 3700 words of annotations for the books and articles I read this week. The balance of writing should really have been be the other way around, but at least my extensive annotations will help me when it comes time to study for my comprehensive exams.

One of the things I'm trying to do with my revision is to construct a new theoretical framework from which to make sense of my data, and in fact to make new sense of the entire project. When I say "make new sense," I mean that it already makes a kind of sense. I know what happened, and even a good deal about the chain of cause and effect that led to the point I'm at now--the point of having a mess of data that I need to write something meaningful about. I'm not exaggerating when I say mess, by the way. It's such a mess that I've spent the better part of the past five months in a cyclical pattern of anger, anxiety, and avoidance over what to do with it. This, my colleagues and advisor assure me, is not uncommon and does not mean I am a total failure as a researcher. So they say.

To make new sense of my research means to go from merely knowing what happened, to constructing particular meaning from it, meaning that will be recognized as meaningful by the community of scholars I'm trying to join. To do that, I needed a theory, grounded in the discipline, which would not only help me interpret the data but also the ultimately quite haphazard method by which it was obtained. To find it, I went all the way back to Aristotle, mainly by way of Janet Atwill and Joseph Dunne.

The ancient Greeks loved knowledge, and they loved to classify and systematize absolutely everything--including knowledge itself. They recognized, and had words for, many kinds of knowledge: nous meant first principles, which must be apprehended since they cannot be derived from observation or logic; episteme, or theoretical knowledge, is logically demonstrable truth; sophia is the power of both apprehending first principles and demonstrating theoretical knowledge; phronesis is practical knowledge, or the virtue of wise action; and techne is productive knowledge--that is, the power of rational creation, or of knowing how to intervene in specific cases in order to bring about a desired end. Whereas episteme is universal, techne and phronesis are particular, and whereas phronesis constitutes a mode of being, techne is about accomplishing specific ends. Though there is some ambiguity about the boundaries (and even the legitimacy) of some of these definitions of knowledge, the ancient Greeks as well as modern theorists generally agree that rhetoric is a type of techne. Atwill, however, gives an account of rhetoric that seems closer to phronesis. Even Dunne admits that the distinction between the two is ambiguous; his whole book is a project of teasing out the difference.

Anyway, the problem I had with my portfolio paper is that I wanted my research project to yield episteme. I wanted to be able to construct a rational account connecting my data to universal principles as unambiguously as possible. It couldn't possibly have worked--not only because I am such an amateur when it comes to designing and conducting such a study, but because the subject itself is one of particulars and not of universals. What I need--and what I ought to be seeking, is not theoretical but practical or productive knowledge, a rational but highly flexible way to deal with inherently messy and largely uncontrollable situations, ideally in order to increase the likelihood of bringing about specific ends. In order to be a techne, that way has to be teachable: it can't just work once, or only for me. As Charles Bazerman explains, "We consider theories successful when we do better with their guidance than without, when we accomplish more of what we wish when following their accounts than when following any or no other account. When considered this way, theories can be seen as heuristics for action" (103). Really though, I'm not sure that what I have--an application of Kenneth Burke's "comic frame"--amounts to a techne, or is more a type of phronesis. In any case such a heuristic would not only help me make sense of the data at hand but also make sense of the larger process of doing this research and writing project--and, I hope, future projects.

If you've actually read this far, congratulations! You're a giant nerd. Here's a cookie. 

...What's that? Aristotle ate your cookie! What a jerk. No, no, it totally wasn't me. It was Aristotle. Check out that guilty look on his face! Well, you know what they say about gifs bearing Greeks.

Source of images: Wikimedia commons.

AcWriMo Pledge

I started this blog a year ago as part of DigiWriMo, and although I failed miserably at DigiWriMo, I'm still enjoying blogging, albeit sporadically. But I'm not one to give up on a goal just because I messed it up last time. At the moment what I really need is to make some giant strides in my academic writing, so instead of doing DigiWriMo, I'm making a commitment for AcWriMo--Academic Writing Month.

As part of my PhD program, I have to create a portfolio of two "publishable," article-length research papers related to my area of primary study. I have (and have had for several months now) a beast of a draft of the first one that needs significant revision--a whole new introduction, some pretty major structural as well as content revision of the body, and a new conclusion. The other exists so far only as a somewhat nebulous web of ideas in my head, plus a few scattered notes about potential sources.

I'm giving myself eight days to revise the existing draft, then a maximum of twelve days to read and annotate sources for the second paper before I start drafting it. By the end of the month I'll have at least a first draft of that one. Since you can't write anything out of thin air, focused reading counts toward my writing goal. One of the biggest obstacles to my writing so far has been the tendency of other priorities to intrude on my writing time; if I'm going to be successful, I'm going to have to be a lot more rigid about my writing schedule--I'm blocking out the time in my calendar just like I would a class or a meeting. I'll spend at least two hours every day (excluding Sundays) working on these two papers: 9-11am Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, and 3-5 Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturdays.

Once a week, on Saturdays, I'll post status updates on this blog. I'll talk about where I am in the writing process and anything interesting, frustrating, or cool that's come up in my reading or writing that week. Of course that won't be the only thing I'll have to blog about. I just got another round of student papers to grade, so Jock the TA Octopus might make another appearance. And the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who is coming up this month (which reminds me--I'm deciding now to take a break from my writing schedule on November 23rd because it would conflict with my Doctor Who party; I'll work an extra hour on Friday and Monday each instead).

So, that's my plan: Two papers. Two hours a day. One month of writing like there's no December. 

image source: https://society6.com/DanLebrun/Doctor-who-Geronimo_Print

Jock the TA Octopus

My friends and I have been grading a lot lately. It's that time of the semester. Reading students' papers can be very interesting and rewarding, but it also (as I think most teachers would agree) frequently tends to be a frustrating experience, when it's not simply mind-numbing. Often, we fantasize about ways to make grading easier. Tonight, an exchange about grading between fellow Comp instructors on Facebook somehow led us to imagine sea slugs writing papers, and thence (naturally) to the idea of an octopus TA. 

It's actually not that far-fetched. I recently read some articles about octopus intelligence. They use tools, play, solve puzzles, are amazing escape artists, can crawl around on land, and have awesome camouflage skills. Then Abby shared this little article about Jock, an octopus in Scotland who has taken to cleaning his own tank. Feeling that an intelligent cephalopod like Jock might be interested in switching from janitorial to clerical work, in a moment of stress-relieving silliness, I invented Jock the Octopus TA. Below, I share some of Jock's recent assessments of student writing. Also, apparently octopuses refer to themselves in the third person. They are solitary creatures who evolved at the bottom of the ocean; their brains are not like our brains. Don't question it.

"Jock says your source is invalid. Try JSTOR next time. Jock loves peer-reviewed articles almost as much as he loves rearranging his tank furniture to be more feng shui." 

"Jock wishes to use this paragraph to scrub the scum off the side of his tank." 

"Jock is not interested in how comprehensive sex education is the solution to the failure of our entire educational infrastructure. He thinks you should write a paper about cephalopods' right to privacy." 

"QUOTING ACTUAL SCHOLARS! Jock approves."

"Jock finds your mastery of academic style over substance simultaneously impressive and depressing." 

"Jock is intrigued by your thesis statement, but finds your argument's credibility hampered by poor paragraph organization and weak source attribution."

 image source: dailyvisits.co.uk

 When Jock is not grading papers or cleaning his tank, he practices playing his bagpipes. He and Paul II, a German octopus guitarist, are hoping to start an international Octopus band. Paul II's predecessor was allegedly psychic, but Paul II is an empiricist and doesn't believe in such pseudoscientific nonsense. Inspired by his high-achieving bandmate, Paul II thinks he may have a future in academia as well--perhaps as a research assistant.

LDS General Conference, Sunday Afternoon Session

We're in the final stretch! Welcome to the concluding session of this General Conference. Watch it here. I'll be updating this blog post between each speaker's remarks, with a summary of the things that most stood out to me, and with any personal commentary in italics.

Image: President Thomas S. Monson. From lds.org

Mormon Tabernacle Choir: "They, the Builders of a Nation" and, after the opening prayer, "I Wonder When He Comes Again"

Elder Quentin L. Cook, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Verdi's opera Nabucco was inspired by the composer's fascination with the prophet Jeremiah. I will be speaking about spiritual subjugation. The principles taught in the book of Jeremiah are of great importance, and its history serves as a backdrop to the Book of Mormon. Jeremiah was a contemporary of Lehi. God's words to Jeremiah are haunting: Israel had traded the blessings of God for the wages of sin, and their unrighteousness led them to exile and physical bondage. Yet because of God's mercy, Israel's scattering became a means of blessing all the nations of the Earth. People can put themselves into bondage not only to addictive substances but also to sin. I will speak in particular about four: First, substance abuse and addictions. Second, social habits that consume our time and prevent us from properly supporting our families. In my professional life we endeavored to create family-friendly workplace for both women and men. Third, intellectual bondage to worldly trends that substitute the philosophies of men for gospel truths. I am thrilled with the educational, professional and other opportunities now available to women, and that technological advancements have relieved them of much of the backbreaking labor that once consumed their time. But we should not lost sight of the value of the roles of motherhood and homemaking. Wait, that was only 3 kinds of bondage. Did I miss the 4th?

Neal L. Anderson, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

We sometimes overly associate the power of the priesthood with men in the church. The priesthood is the power of God, given to bless every man, woman, and child. A man may open the window, but he is not the source of the sunlight that illuminates and gives warmth to the room within. The ordinances are available to all. If the power and blessings of the priesthood are available to all, why are they administered only by men? When we speak of the priesthood there are many things we do know. But we do not know all things. We know that all souls are equally precious to God regardless of gender, but we also know that men and women were not created to be exactly alike. Gender is an eternal characteristic. We know that in every dispensation God has given the priesthood to men. We know that worthiness is central to receiving priesthood ordinances. Unworthily participating in the administration of priesthood ordinances is taking the name of God in vain. We know that a family led by both a father and a mother is the pattern set by God, but we also know that He eagerly sends children to families in many other circumstances, and has provided ways for them to also enjoy priesthood blessings through the ministrations of others. With time and eternal perspective, we will see things as they really are, and understand his perfect love. We do not determine the callings we receive. Sincerely asking for, listening, and responding to the thoughts and concerns voiced by women is essential to the church, society, and our families. The power of God's priesthood is found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I promise that as you participate in the ordinances available through priesthood power, you will be greatly blessed.

This talk is packed with meaning! Certainly recent events influenced the timing and content of Elder Anderson's message, but the principles also have broader application. It's working on many levels at once.

David M. McConkie, First Counselor in the Sunday School General Presidency

I'm a Sunday School teacher, so this message has particular relevance for me.

You have been called by revelation and have been set apart by priesthood authority. That means you are authorized to teach in His name and in His way, and to seek his assistance to carry out your teaching responsibilities. You must not teach your own philosophies, even mingled with scriptures. You are commanded to teach the principles of the gospel as they are found in the standard works, to teach the words of Latter-day prophets and apostles, and to teach as you are directed by the Holy Spirit. The most important part of your service will be your own daily spiritual preparation. Of course you must diligently prepare for each lesson and to lean how to teach effectively, but the most important part of your service is your personal spiritual preparation. Your own testimony of the gospel will grow and your conversion will be deepened. Search the scriptures and treasure them up in your heart, and when you teach you will be blessed with the Lord's power and with his word. Some become experts in merely delivering information. Others neglect their lesson preparation and hope the Lord will help them get through the lesson. You must have both the word and the power of the gospel in your life in order to teach successfully. You must learn to listen. Our students will tell us what they need to hear. Teachers are too focused on delivering comfortable, repetitious content rather than responding to the needs of their students. You must be willing to let go of your outlines and your notes and follow the promptings of the Spirit when they come. When you do this, the words of Christ become your words, and the Holy Ghost will be able to bring all things to your remembrance. You will find yourself saying something you did not plan to say, and then if you are paying attention, you will learn from the things you teach. A teacher is also a student. Finally, you must stand as an independent witness of the things you teach, and not just an echo of the lesson materials or other people. The Holy Ghost will bear witness to you of the truth of the things you teach.

Choir and Congregation: "Called to Serve" Camera pan of the Conference Center exterior: Ooh look, there are still leaves on the trees! They're just beginning to change color. Sigh. I miss Utah. We don't really get "Fall" here in Arizona.

Kevin S. Hamilton, of the Seventy

Those of us who have joined the church have made covenants to obey the commandments, serve the kingdom, and observe and keep personal and congregational worship. We should not neglect any of our Sunday meetings, thinking that only Sacrament meeting is necessary. Each of our Sunday meetings is designed especially to serve the particular needs of those who attend it. We each have to make personal decisions as to how we observe the Sabbath day. The adversary sometimes uses good activities as a way to cheat our souls but getting us to avoid making the better choice of attending all our Sunday church meetings. Our everyday decisions will impact our lives in significant ways.


Adrian Ochoa, of the Seventy

As you pursue your own lives, don't forget to look up. Pay attention to the signs of our times. The internet is a marvelous technology that gives unprecedented access to information, but also can give the false appearance of authority to anybody with a blog, and can also be a portal to pernicious pornographic content. Remember that "by their fruits ye shall know them." We have an ever-increasing need for the spirit of discernment, to recognize what is of worth and what is not. Remember to "look up" for divine guidance and safety. "No one knows when the Lord will come again, but the perilous times are now upon us."

Terence M. Vinson, of the Seventy

How do our attitudes and behavior reflect the thoughts and intents of our hearts? Sometimes the Lord does not solve our problems for us because he expects us to exercise our intelligence and faith to solve them ourselves. When we do all we can, He will add His strength to ours. We ought to know the Lord as our friend, and know that He loves us, and looks after us.

A fly is buzzing around Elder Vinson's head, and just landed on his nose. That's something I don't think I've ever seen in Conference before.

Russell M. Nelson, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Each day is a day of decision, and many of these decisions have significant impact on our physical and spiritual welfare. Our spirits are often housed in imperfect bodies. These physical challenges provide opportunities for spiritual growth. Knowledge that your body is the temple of your spirit should influence your choices about how you care for and use it, and those decisions will affect your eternal destiny. Physical choices influence your spiritual development. Physical self-mastery builds your conscience, which determines your moral character. God implanted strong appetites within us for nourishment and love. When we exercise those appetites within the bounds of God's laws, they bring great joy. It is no wonder the adversary seeks to corrupt those appetites. If we have been subject to our appetites, we can change. The gospel of Jesus is a gospel of change. Freedom from self-slavery is true liberation. The Lord's law of marriage cannot be compromised if we wish to experience the true joy that comes from obedience to it. Sin is still sin in the eyes of God, even if legalized by man. We cannot change God's doctrine--it is not ours to change. It is ours to study, accept, and obey.

Is it just me, or does Pres. Eyring look younger than he used to?

Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We thank those who have been released, and to the choirs that have participated in this conference. I thank you for your prayers in my behalf, and in behalf of the other officers of the church. "May heaven's blessings be with you. May your homes be filled with love, and with courtesy, and with the Spirit of the Lord.... May we show increased kindness to each other, and may we ever be found doing the work of the Lord."

AMEN! 

Tabernacle Choir: "Abide with Me, 'Tis Eventide"

President Monson is waving and giving "thumbs up" to the crowd as he exits the Conference Center. Pres. Uchtdorf just blew a kiss toward the audience. Aw! The general authorities file out, arm in arm, or hand in hand, with their spouses. Others stop in the aisles to shake hands or hug, and greet and visit with their fellows. These leaders serve all over the world and for many, opportunities to meet together are few. For many of us who watch Conference from home as well, it's an opportunity for a special kind of gathering with friends and family.

I feel filled to overflowing from all the messages we've heard during this conference. I'd like to take some time to distill my thoughts about them, but at the moment I feel exhausted as well as exhilarated by the 2-day, 10-hour spiritual "marathon" that is General Conference. So, it will have to wait a little while.

LDS General Conference, Sunday Morning Session

Welcome, welcome, Sabbath morning! I'm liveblogging General Conference this October. I've already written my way through the first three sessions yesterday, and I'm excited for the final two sessions today. You can watch live with me here.

As before, I'll be mostly summarizing each of the speakers' messages--or at least the parts that seem most important to me. I'll update the blog at the end of each speaker's remarks. My own commentary will be in italics.

Image: Temple Square in Salt Lake City, from utahvalley360.com

Mormon Tabernacle Choir: "Rejoice, the Lord Is King!"

Opening Prayer You know, it never bothered me at all--I didn't even notice--that before last April, women hadn't offered prayers in General Conference. But I must say it warms my heart each time I hear my sisters acting as the voice of the congregation in those prayers.

Tabernacle Choir: "Master, The Tempest Is Raging"

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency

My grandchildren are growing to maturity and are beginning to enjoy the blessings of family creation. Since no two families are alike, it's hard to give universal advice about happiness in family life. Yet the Lord has given but one plan of happiness for all of is in mortality, which is to follow all the commandments of God. And the one overarching commandment that will lead to the heart of the happy family life, which applies to all relationships regardless of circumstance, which is: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind...and...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself". From this we can draw many essential principles for happiness. Forgiveness is one. Service and accepting callings in the church is another, and this is true both in our communities and in our families.We need Christlike love to develop unity of heart in our marriages. It takes the help of God and time to polish us to perfection. This is especially true in family life, where we will find great joy, and great sorrows, and challenges. When those we love stray into dark and dangerous paths, we keep loving them, and we have hope in the mercy of Christ.

Dallin H. Oaks, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The second of the ten commandments expands upon the first. It commands us not to worship idols, and more than an injunction against bowing down to physical idols, it is about our priorities. Do we place higher priority on worldly things than we do on serving our God? If so, we are in danger of serving other gods. Only marriage in the Lord's way carries with it the promise of eternal blessings. Rates of marriage among young adults is declining and the median age of marriage is at an all-time high. This is in part because of worldly priorities. The scriptures command us to be respectful and tolerant of all people, regardless of religious beliefs and practices. We claim the right to the same respect and toleration of our religious beliefs and practices. Our emphasis on the principle of chastity is based on our doctrinal understanding of the importance of the procreative power. Cohabitation and out-of-wedlock childbearing have dramatically increased in our society. This is contrary to the eternal nature and purposes of marriage and family. Legislation has authorized same-gender marriage in many places, and some seek to erode gender differences. Such social changes do not change our doctrine or God's law. We may suffer discrimination as a result of our stance. If so, we should remember our first priority is to serve God. Don't let the temporary challenges of mortality distract us from our eternal destiny.

Well, that ought to stir things up.

Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women's General President

True conversion comes from serving the Lord. No worldly promises are great enough to trade for our precious testimonies, church membership, and the blessings that come from knowing and living the gospel. Conversion is a process, not an event. We should not wait to live gospel principles until we have a testimony of them. We gain testimonies of gospel principles by living them, and experiencing the blessings that follow our obedience. Each has the primary responsibility for their own conversion. We cannot rely on the faith and diligence of others for our own testimonies. Yet when we are converted, we reach out to strengthen our brothers and sisters.

My roommate's comment: "I liked her! She didn't have 'Primary voice.'"

Choir and Congregation: "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel"

Richard J. Maynes, Presidency of the Seventy

"The challenges we face, if successfully endured, will be for our ultimate good." Our journey through life is designed to be a test of our character. Because God knew we would not always make the right choice, he provided a Savior to atone for us. Our testimonies help us to endure in righteousness. Spiritual endurance requires dedication, perseverance, and persistence. The gospel does not give us immunity from death, but victory over it through the resurrection of Christ. The test of mortality is an endurance race.

Richard G. Scott, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Uh-oh! Elder Scott gives beautiful messages--I love to read them. But has the most soporific voice! Hopefully blogging will prevent me from nodding off while he speaks.

The people of Ammon buried their weapons of war and covenanted never to take them up. But as the Nephite armies were worn down in their defense, the Ammonites, knowing that fathers have a duty to protect their families, considered breaking their covenant in order to fulfill that duty. But Helaman knew that the breaking of covenants is never justified, and that there was another way. Their sons had not made that covenant, because they had not committed those sins that made it necessary for their fathers to do so. Thus they were able to take up arms to defend their families. But this must have been a cause of anguish for their fathers. Fathers, not children, are supposed to protect their families. Yet their past had undermined their ability to do so. Despite the reality of repentance, past sins can make us vulnerable to future temptation. Nonetheless, through our reliance on the atonement and the heed we give to wise priesthood counsel, the Savior is able to protect us from our weaknesses. We have all made poor choices, we are all in need of the atonement, to repent of our rebellion, to heal the weaknesses of our character. How can we fortify our character? First, sincere repentance. Repentance is not punishment, but a "hope-filled path to a glorious future." Next, make covenants and receive ordinances for yourself, and work to provide such ordinances for your own ancestors. Share the gospel with your neighbors. Serve faithfully in all church callings, especially home and visiting teaching. Be a real friend. Most importantly, serve the members of your own family. Fill your life with service to others.

Tabernacle Choir: "O Divine Redeemer"

Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Spoke tenderly of the recent passing of his dear wife Frances. Tomorrow would have been their 65th wedding anniversary. This is the 50th year since Monson was called to the Apostleship--a lifetime of service that involved great sacrifice for her as well as him. Many have expressed their condolences through donations to education and missionary funds. Knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the promise of eternal marriage has been of great comfort in this time of grief. No person has ever lived entirely free of suffering and sorrow. There is the temptation to ask, "why me?" Sometimes there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel, no promise of dawn at the end of our dark night. Pessimism is a distorted prism. The heavenly virtue of patience is required. Shall I falter, or shall I finish? "Man is born unto trouble," as Job said. He was a righteous man yet faced a test that could have destroyed anyone, but he held fast to his testimony of the Redeemer. Whenever we are inclined to feel burdened down, remember that others have endured such trials and risen above them. So can we. Making the gospel of Jesus Christ the center of our lives will enable us to triumph over our troubles. Sadness and suffering are universal. A beautiful story of a 105-year old "Brother Brims" who had known "Tommy Monson" from when he was young. "Heavenly Father has been so good to me." He was not resentful of his sufferings, but deeply grateful for his blessings. We may be tested to our limits, but such trials enable us to change for the better. Not only must we persevere and endure, but become more spiritually refined as we pass through sunshine and sorrow. Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, our Savior is always with us. We should not have to be driven to humility to remember him and place in him our trust. He has promised, "I will not fail thee nor forsake thee."

Tabernacle Choir: "We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet" And we do!

LDS General Conference, Priesthood Session

I feel like I need to offer a bit of context. Historically, the Priesthood session of General Conference has been attended at Temple Square and via satellite broadcast at Stake Centers throughout the world--meetings which were attended only by men (who could attend whether or not they held the priesthood). While the sessions have always been made available to everyone on a delayed basis in video, audio, and print form, this year is the first time it will also be streamed live on the internet.

As with the inclusion of women among those who offer prayers during General Conference last April, there is some feeling that this may be partly in response to efforts by a group of LDS women to be allowed to attend the Priesthood session in person. That request was declined, but with the announcement that the Priesthood session will be streamed live, we can all enjoy these messages without delay. Not only that, but it means greater flexibility of access for men who for whatever reason may feel unable to go to a Stake center, though church leadership is urging men and boys who are able to still attend in person at their meetinghouses, because it's not just about the messages but about the opportunity to gather with other brethren to commune with and strengthen each other (which, no doubt, is part of why Ordain Women doesn't think the live stream is fully satisfying).

Though I have never felt a personal desire to hold the priesthood, and am satisfied with the many opportunities I have had to serve in leadership, teaching, and ministering roles in the church (indeed I am aware of few other religions that place so much responsibility for the ministry on women), I am also sensitive to the concerns and desires of my sisters who feel differently, and I commend them for respectfully asking for further light and knowledge, and faithfully continuing to serve and worship as fully committed members of the church in the meantime. That, I believe, is the pattern for revelation that has been laid out for us in the scriptures and in the counsel of latter-day church leaders.

All that aside, I'm certainly not going to miss a chance to be part of a historic occasion like this. So even though I would kind of like to take a break for the evening (I've already had FOUR HOURS of church today!), I'll be back, live blogging the Priesthood session this evening.

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So, it's almost 5, and I'm back for more! My computer chair is getting a workout today. But I tell you what, I'm looking forward to listening to a Men's Choir! Scroll down to see my liveblog of the Priesthood session.

Image from heraldextra.com

President Eyring announces that the services are being broadcast by satellite and via the internet to Priesthood holders throughout the world. Plus, you know, lots of men and women who don't hold the priesthood. But he doesn't mention us. I get that we're not the primary audience, and that's OK.

Ooh, an Aaronic Priesthood choir. That's new. Usually it's missionaries from the MTC or something. They look so cute, and so earnest! Except that one. He looks kind of bored, or maybe just tired. 

L. Tom Perry, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I recall a primary teacher whose great desire was to prepare us boys to receive the priesthood. She promised if we memorized all the Articles of Faith, we could go on an outing to a place of our own choosing. When we chose to go on a canyon hike, we didn't consider the difficulty that would pose to her elderly frame. But she was gamely true to her word. When we stopped for lunch, she taught us our final lesson--that memorizing the words of the Articles of Faith would be meaningless if we did not understand and apply their doctrine. Her emphasis on gospel study has stayed with me. True doctrine comes from God, the source and foundation of all truth. False doctrine comes from Satan, the father of all lies. He wants to deceive us and twist the truth so that some will lose their way. The scriptures teach us how to avoid false doctrine. True doctrine is to the church as a battery is to a cell phone. Elder Perry relates the story of the restoration of the gospel and of the priesthood. In addition to the still small voice of the Spirit, and studying the scriptures, church leaders are an additional source of guidance and revelation for us. The 13th Article of Faith provides special insight into how we should present ourselves and conduct our lives. Each Article of Faith adds unique value to our understanding of the gospel. Young men, use your bright minds to study the doctrines of the Articles of Faith and use them as a guide for your studies and your life.

Gerald Causse, First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric

A marvelous aspect of this church is that it is diverse and global. Our sacred heritage transcends our differences. We are equal heirs to the same special lineage. As members of the church we strive to be in the world but not of the world. This can sometimes make us feel like strangers. We have a divine mission to welcome and care for the outcasts and strangers. Those who were considered outcasts in His time were given special consideration from the Savior. In this church, there are no strangers, and no outcasts. There are only brothers and sisters, and we should treat each other as such. Because of technologies that increase speed of transportation and communication--changes that are designed by God to further His work--our friends, acquaintances, communities and congregations are becoming increasingly diverse. We all need to work together to build special unity. Unity is not achieved by isolating those who seem to be different or weaker, but by welcoming and serving those who are new and have particular needs.

This is a timely message, and I feel that it has relevance also for occasions when we discover differences among those already in our midst, whom we had assumed to be just like us! 

Randy D. Funk, of the Seventy

How will you receive spiritual power to serve as a missionary? The scriptures promise such power to all who are duly called to serve. The promise will be fulfilled on condition of humility and obedience to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. The Lord commands us to be humble because the process of repentance and forgiveness begins with a broken heart. Broken soil is sown with seed that, when cultivated, bears good fruit.

Choir and Congregation: "Do What Is Right"

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency

When I was young, falling and getting up seemed to be part of one and the same movement. But as I have gotten older I have come to the conclusion that the laws of physics have changed--and not in my favor. Recently when skiing with my grandchildren, I fell, and was unable to get up on my own. My grandson was not interested in my explanation for why I could not get up by myself, instead grasping my hand and saying "Opa, you can do it now." And with his assistance I got up. Sometimes rising up and continuing onward may seem impossible. But sometimes we just need someone to look us in the eyes, take our hand, and say "You can do it now." We may think that women are more prone to feelings of inadequacy than men, but I don't think that is true. These feelings may bother us deeply. Men of promise have withdrawn from service because they became discouraged over a few failures, and thus missed the opportunity to fulfill the potential within them. "We all want to be respected and esteemed, we want to be champions. But mortals do not become champions without effort and discipline, or without making a few mistakes." The promise of repentance is the greatest message of God to men. "True repentance is about transformation, not torture or torment." Godly sorrow is necessary, but self-loathing is counterproductive. The adversary wants to confuse us about who we really are and what we really desire. He also tries to make us see the commandments as things that have been forced upon us. But if we see these things and choices as who we are and who we want to become, we have a better chance of rising to the challenge. Falling down is normal. But as long as we rise up again, we can become better, and be able to walk tall and continue on. You should hear President Monson pray for you.

Dude, this is awesome. I can't recall the last time I heard a man of such manly stature offering such frank insight and advice about manhood to his peers. I wish every man could hear this talk. (Not that any of this doesn't also apply to women, but I know a lot of guys, and feel that it will have particular resonance for them.)

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency

Priesthood holders sometimes get overwhelmed by the many obligations they are under. The parable of the Good Samaritan is a story that can help you in such situations. The Lord will give you compassion for those in need, he will provide others to assist you in your work, and he will repay all those who join with him in helping those in need. You can be inspired to know who to ask and who not to ask for assistance in tending to the needs of your congregations. And you can be inspired to know how best to help those under your care. You cannot help others repair spiritual damage unless your own faith is vibrant, so it is necessary to continually treasure up the words of life. Our own trials help us to develop compassion so that we can better succor those we are called to serve.

Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

First Monson story of this Conference! Contrast the Utah sheepherder who rode casually behind his sheep, while the yappy dogs did the work of keeping the flock on track, with the European shepherd who led his flock, and his sheep followed him. It is the latter type with which the Savior identifies when he calls himself the "true Shepherd." And such is the type of shepherd that we ought to be--one who leads with love and is willingly followed by those under his care. Home Teaching is one of our most urgent opportunities to provide inspiration and care. Second Monson story of Conference! I'm not summarizing them because summaries are inadequate. You have to listen to him tell them. Home Teaching is more than a mechanical monthly visit. We can and must do better. A true home teacher is a true friend. As home teachers, our greatest exemplar is the Savior.

Choir: "God of Our Fathers, Whose Almighty Hand"

This experiment with liveblogging has been really great for me so far. I usually keep a conference notebook, but it's neat to get to share these impressions with my friends, and I hope if you feel inclined that you'll share your thoughts about Conference with me. I'll be back at 9am, and again at 1pm tomorrow for the final two sessions.