Home (or: Unrooted)

• For the past couple of months I have occasionally had this intense yearning to go home, but I honestly do not know where home is. I grew up in Orem, Utah, and spent my early teens in the Salt Lake valley. I still feel a strong sense of belonging every time I see the Wasatch mountains, yet I really have no desire to settle down in what's known by locals (with about equal measures of affection and sarcasm) as "Happy Valley." It's the place of my birth, but it isn't home. Not anymore.
  
  Nor is my parents' house in Idaho, where they've lived since I was 16. I love to visit. I enjoy my family's long conversations about all sorts of things, cooking with my mom, watching movies with my brother, and helping out around the house. It is and always will be a place of love, welcome, and safety. But there was a subtle shift that happened at some point, a few years ago, when I stopped mentally referring to it as "home" and started thinking of it as "Mom and Dad's place." Sleeping in my old room feels strange--like well-worn clothes that no longer fit right.
  
  In the first five years after moving out of my parents' house, I moved seven times (that's student life for you). I've had good roommates, and I've lived alone. I've lived in a couple of houses and a few apartments; in Rexburg, Idaho; Pullman, Washington; Rexburg again; then St. George, Utah; and finally Mesa, Arizona, where I've stayed put, thankfully, for nearly two solid years now in a nice house with roommates who are also friends, great rent, a garden and chickens, and room enough for all my books. I have no plans to move again until life moves me. Yet none of these places have felt like home--just a good place to live for a while.
  
  I feel unrooted. Home is a place that doesn't exist yet. What if I never get there?
  
  
  

  "Home", a Piano Guys cover filmed near Zion National Park in Utah

  
  

Entertainment Reviews

I'm thinking about posting something complicated and academic to do with the nature of words. But let's face it, I've pretty much blown the first two weeks of summer on entertainment, instead of making progress on my giant pile of academic reading or, you know, analyzing the data for that research project that I'm supposed to have finished by the end of June. Anyway. I'm still procrastinating brain work, so I'm going to write about entertainment instead.

Part 1: Portal 2 Is the Best Game Ever

Don't even try to argue with me. I spent much of last weekend playing Portal 2. Nancy got me to play Portal way back in 2011, and I've been waiting forever for a chance to play the sequel because up until last month, my PC only ever ran Linux. Since I finally broke down and bought a Windows desktop, I got the Portal Pack from Steam (and the Universe laughed, because right about the same time, Steam added Linux support--but it wouldn't have run well on my geriatric Ubuntu laptop anyway).

I could explain what makes Portal and Portal 2 so awesome, but these games have been around for ages, so I'm sure you can google an actual review. Instead, I'll just finish this section by observing that Portal 2 and zucchini bread are now forever linked in my mind, because who has time for proper meals when there's science to be done?

Part 2: Zucchini Bread, The Nearly Perfect Food?

Making food and eating it (with our without sharing, but preferably with) are among the oldest and best forms of entertainment. We recently started harvesting zucchini from Stephanie's garden, so naturally I had to make some bread. It's got vegetables (the eponymous zucchini), protein (an egg), and grains (I even use part whole wheat flour). And I don't eat dairy, so that's all the necessary food groups right there. Makes you wonder why anybody ever eats anything else.

Part 3: I Suck at Kickball, or Maybe Kickball Just Sucks

It just might be the easiest team sport ever, yet I managed to take myself out of the game during my second inning by tripping at a run over a pathetically small mound of dirt and narrowly averting a total faceplant. Now my bad knee is worse. I think in future I'll stick to safer sports, like slacklining and rock climbing.

Part 4: Summer Blockbusters

Even though sequels are rarely brilliant, I've been looking forward to Iron Man 3 and Star Trek Into Darkness. I thoroughly enjoyed their predecessors and I was prepared for more of the same, if somewhat watered-down, which is pretty much what I got. Of the two, I think Iron Man 3 is the better film. The reveal in IM3 actually surprised me, unlike the total non-surprise of STID. Also, I've emotionally invested in the Marvel universe's characters in a way that I have yet to do with anybody but maybe Spock in the Abrams Star Trek universe, so that helps. I really like what they've done with Tony Stark's character arc, though I'm not sure how much character development is left for him at this point--enough to get him through Avengers 2, I hope. Iron Man 3 wasn't as good as 1 and 2, but I'll happily add it to my collection. I think STID was worth the price of admission, but Benedict Cumberbatch aside, I'm not all that eager to watch it again.

Part 5: Books!

My pile of grad student reading is so large that I feel guilty about reading for fun, but lately I've been really wanting to re-read Dune. Plus, I borrowed In the Beginning Was the Command Line from a friend the other day. Decisions, decisions....

Doctor Who Season 7 Review (No spoilers, sweetie!)

I just finished watching the finale to the seventh season of Doctor Who. Here's my spoiler-free review:

I really liked "The Name of the Doctor"! It delivered some surprises plus the biggest dose of classic Who references all season (as is only right), was solidly plotted (by Doctor Who standards) and was visually really, really impressive. Also, the ending has me stoked for the 50th anniversary special this November. It was far from perfect, but then season finales often are. By comparison, I'd say this is one of the better ones--certainly better than the season 6 finale.

Overall, though, Season 7 has been fairly weak. There was only one really terrible episode, if you ask me, but there were no stunners, either. Most people seem to be blaming current head writer, Steven Moffat, and of course as the boss, he does bear some of the blame. But I think he deserves some credit, too. This was an ambitious season. Because 2013 marks the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, expectations were high, and Moffat's team had a plan that, on the surface, seemed like a good idea.

Each of the season's 13 episodes would be "cinematic". They even made "movie posters" for every episode. Each episode was a Doctor Who-style pastiche of a different movie genre. And it nearly worked. Some people have complained that this style was a betrayal of the show's essential character, but that's clearly rubbish. After all, in the last 50 years Doctor Who has had many identities--not just the title character, but the show itself has changed its style, its personality, many, many times.

I think there are a few reasons why the movie-of-the-week format only nearly worked this season. First, changing flavors that rapidly has got to be hellishly difficult, and Doctor Who is notoriously complicated and difficult already. Second, a number of those stories clearly needed more than 45 minutes, but thanks to all the whining about multi-part stories last season they decided that every episode this season would have to be stand-alone. Third (possibly related), the editing was frequently awful. Fourth, and probably the most important lesson to be learned from this season--Doctor Who, like the Tardis, is bigger on the inside. When you make it bigger on the outside, it becomes paradoxically smaller.

What I mean is, the bigger you try to make the show, the more obvious it becomes that it's really still quite small. People always go on about the comically low-budget effects of the classic series, and to a lesser degree the new series. I mean, it's ridiculous, right? A show that is about an enormously powerful alien with a ship that can take him anywhere in the universe, a universe that he frequently must save from total destruction--and usually all we see of these epic conflicts are a handful of stuntmen clumsily fighting rubber-suited aliens in a London back alley, and ultimately the Doctor saves the day with just a sonic screwdriver and a bit of dodgy CGI.

We fans have said it so often that it's a cliche, but that weakness is actually a strength. That smallness causes two things: one, without the budget for epic battle scenes, the show has to focus on a few key characters, on how they respond to the galaxy-shattering events around them, and in a way that makes it a lot more like real life. Two, imagination has infinitely more resources than the biggest budget (it's like the production equivalent of the Law of Conservation of Ninjutsu). I'm not saying the BBC should spend less money on the show. I'm delighted that the new series looks so much better than the classic series. I'm saying they should think differently about how they spend that money--on quality rather than quantity.

That said, in many ways I'm very pleased with how season 7 turned out. The first episode, "Asylum of the Daleks," was mostly great. Despite a couple of bad moments, it's probably the best episode of the season, though "Nightmare in Silver" was also good up until the very end (how about that! A Dalek and a Cyberman episode being among the best of the season seems fitting). The regular nods to the classic series were delightful to me as a lifelong fan, and though most of them went right over my roommate's head, she was not bothered by them. The best of these by far was the identity of the new head of UNIT back in "The Power of Three". Such "Easter eggs" highlighting the show's history could have been handled badly, but instead they were just the right amount of nostalgia, and helped to build the overall arc of the season.

Looking to the future, I am looking forward to the 50th Anniversary special. It's a multi-Doctor story (as were the 10th and 20th anniversary specials). Based on the build-up this season, we can expect an epic scope, but based on the history of Doctor Who anniversary specials, we can also expect that the story will be largely at the service of nostalgia. What I'm saying is, approach it with modest expectations and just enjoy the fan wank. I'm going to get a big bag of jelly babies and eat one every time there's a new classic series nod, and two every time the Doctors insult each other (feel free to add more "Jelly Baby Eating Game" ideas in the comments).

As for season 8, I'd like to see Clara get more character development, and Coleman is obviously having a lot of fun playing her, which makes her a pleasure to watch. I doubt Smith and Moffat will stay on much longer, though they are confirmed through 2014, and that's probably for the best. The show is always going in new directions. I do hope that, when Moffat steps down, he comes back once in a while to write an episode. He has his shortcomings as a showrunner, but when it comes to writing episodes, there's really no-one better.

Please, if you include spoilers in the comments--that means plot details for any episode of season 7, please mark them with a "SPOILER WARNING" and include some white space. A lot of my friends haven't seen any/all of the season yet. But I'm happy to talk details of any episode.

P.S. I was right about Clara. I was also right, thank goodness, about the finale episode's title.

10 Things I Learned This Semester

In no particular order:

1. I'm a terrible, terrible blogger.
2. Insect invaders must be fought quickly, using the strongest possible methods.
3. Going to three academic conferences in one month is totally exhausting, and also kinda fun. 
4. I HATE Las Vegas, with a fiery passion of hatred.
5. The amount of things I have to do stresses me out more than the overall amount of work I have to do. Lots of little projects and tasks are more stressful than a few big ones.
6. Two computer screens are better than one.
7. If you yell and complain and sulk and snark in your prayers, God doesn't get mad. He's just glad you're still talking to him.
8. Telling people you study metadisciplinary discourses sounds impressive, but is really hard to explain.
9. Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon is totally awesome, and excellent music to study/write/grade by. Seriously, how did I not ever hear this album until a month ago?
10. Sometimes, the people close to you are not lovable. Love them anyway. Sometimes, you are not lovable. Allow yourself to be loved anyway. Love is a gift; it can't be earned. Strive to live up to it anyway.

And now for something completely different: 

Last month I gave a presentation on "Why We Need Stories" at an LDS Mid-Singles "Expert Night" (Kind of like a mini, Mormon version of a TED conference). I included this painting, "Once Upon a Time", by James Christensen, in my PowerPoint because, well, look at it! It's gorgeous! This has been one of my favorite paintings since I was a kid. But check it out: there's a Weeping Angel standing there in the corner! Those sweet faerie creatures have no idea that they're all about to die. Curse you, Steven Moffat!