I Am a Feminist Because...

Here's a definition of feminism from Wikipedia:

Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women.

How can any sane person not agree with that?

But in case you need further convincing:

I am a feminist because my mother Eve chose knowledge and generation, and has been vilified by every generation ever since.

I am a feminist because Sarah, Rebekah, Miriam, Deborah, Ruth, Hannah, Esther, all the Marys and Martha the under-appreciated, the Samaritan woman whose name is lost to history, Lydia, Lois and Eunice, Priscilla, Sariah, Abish, Lucy, Emma, Eliza, and many others left me an unspeakable (and largely unwritten) legacy of spiritual power, and I shall not squander it.

I am a feminist because my mother, my grandmothers, my great-great-great grandmothers, are and were women of faith and learning and strength who inspire me every day.

I am a feminist because I want a better world for my nieces and nephews, and for my unborn daughters and sons.

And...

I am a feminist because I was eleven and innocent and I got away yet it still haunts me, because what if he hurt another girl worse than he hurt me because I never said anything, not for all these years, and maybe it's too late for her, but not for you, whoever you are reading this now.

I am a feminist because I have a voice.

I am a feminist because "modest is hottest" is a perverse oxymoron that fuels rape culture, reduces men to puppets, and re-converts the virtue of women into a sexual commodity.

I am a feminist because throughout the world women still experience illiteracy at twice the rate of men, because the gender wage gap, although complex, is real, because 1 in 5 women reported experiencing rape is a statistic that should make every soul shudder.

I am a feminist because some men shot Malala in the head because she is a girl who dared to go to school. And she survived and continues to stand up for all women.

I am a feminist because last month, some men in Nigeria kidnapped more than 200 girls and now threaten to sell them into sexual slavery because they dared to go to school. It's been more than a month and these girls are still captive. And when these girls get home (I pray to God they get home), their lives will still be inconceivably hard because they are girls, and because they were victimized. And maybe some of them will never dare to go to school again, but I hope that some of them become crusaders for their own and their sisters' and daughters' sake, because we need them. We all need them.

I am a feminist because when I publicly voiced my anguish at this crime perpetrated against these Nigerian girls, these fellow daughters of Eve, my sisters though I've never met them and don't even know their names, one man--a colleague--instead of taking a moment to weep with me for such an atrocity, chose to question my choice of words, as if the suffering of over 200 courageous schoolgirls were insignificant next to the enticements of a semantic argument.

I am a feminist because yesterday, a young man killed 7 people, including himself, because he felt his mere existence entitled him to sex, and imagined that a murderous rampage was an appropriate revenge for its denial.

I am a feminist because I have to state the obvious: that not all men are monsters, but no man or woman can afford to sit by while the monsters rage.

I am a feminist because sometimes we sit by and say nothing because we've been made afraid or ashamed or powerless to stand up, to speak out. And I'm sick and tired of it.

I am a feminist because the world is far too full of hatred, cruelty, and injustice, and maybe you can't fight them all but it's OK to choose the battles that hit you closest to your heart.

I'm a feminist and so should you.

Image source: http://bodyremember.com/2013/07/06/shes-someone/

Update 6/22/2014: Most of the Nigerian girls are still missing, but now I can pray for some of them, at least, by name.

Live blogging General Conference (again): Saturday and Sunday

General Conference is here again. This year it's going to be extra awesome because two of my brothers, their wives, and five of my nieces and nephews are coming to Arizona! That might make it harder to blog Conference. But they won't be here until late Saturday afternoon. I wanted to live blog the General Women's meeting last weekend as well, but the flu had other ideas. It was an extraordinary--and I mean extra-ordinary--meeting and I recommend watching it.

How my live blogging works: I'm updating this blog every few minutes during the conference sessions, typically at the end of each speaker's remarks. It's mostly summary, because I'm using it as a way to record the things that stick in my mind, but sometimes I add a bit of commentary.

SATURDAY MORNING

President Thomas S. Monson

President Monson always opens conference more or less the same way, with expressions of love and welcome, and a brief overview of significant progress or change in the church since the last conference. He mentioned being in Arizona for the dedication of the Gilbert Temple just last month--an event that I was privileged to attend.

Jeffrey R. Holland

The saints have been rejected and slain throughout the history of the world. Some members of the church today will endure ridicule and abuse because of their faith. It is worth it, for the sake of discipleship and redemption in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a reality of the present day that if people want any gods at all, they want comfortable gods, who do not demand much. And some invoke the name of Jesus as one of this kind of comfortable god. But Jesus consistently spoke hard things: not only should we do no sin, we should not even think of sinning, and that we ought to cut off our own limbs rather than allow them to lead us into sin. He is indeed the God of love. But Christlike love is "tough love"--it wants to save us from the things that would hurt us (our sins), not allow us to be complacent in our sins. Holland testifies that he is more certain of the restoration of the gospel and priesthood keys than he is that he is standing before the congregation at that very moment.

Ronald A. Rasband

Last year, tornadoes in Oklahoma changed the landscape and the lives of residents. They needed sustaining hands to love and help them in the work of rebuilding their lives and homes. Each of us faces challenges and responsibilities, and each of us has opportunities to love, help, and sustain those whose burdens are too great to bear alone. We each have the responsibility to "bear one another's burdens, that they may be light...mourn with those that mourn..comfort those that stand in need of comfort...and stand as witnesses of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places" (Mosiah 18:8-9).

Carlos H. Amado

During His mortal ministry, Jesus brought three people back to life, providing irrefutable evidence that he had power over death. Elder Amado then narrated and testified of the truth of Christ's suffering in Gethsemane, his trial, crucifixion, ministry in the spirit world, resurrection, and future second coming. It was a beautiful testimony.

Linda S. Reeves

What do I want my grandchildren to know? Human sexual desires should draw couples together in marriage and strengthen ties of love and devotion. But pornography distorts such desires and can entrap both men and women, and children as well as adults are increasingly likely to stumble upon pornographic material unwittingly. Calm and loving counsel, not shock and disgust, are the best way to respond to those who reveal their exposure to it. Computers are not the biggest culprit. There are resources available for those who desire help in breaking the influence of pornography in our lives. Daily scripture study and prayer, and weekly church attendance and family home evenings should not be added stressors, but rather sources of strength and peace, and a time of relief from the cares of our daily lives. They are the very things that help us guard and grow our spiritual wellbeing.

Neil L. Andersen

Another tornado story. "The world will not glide calmly toward the second coming." As the influence of the gospel spreads through the earth in the last days, so too does the opposition of the adversary. Repentance has the power to subdue the winds of sin. Not all sorrow comes because of personal sin. Some comes because of the choices of others, and some because of the weaknesses of the mortal condition. Strong winds stimulate roots to grow and deepen, and cause the trunk and branches to grow stronger and more resilient to the whirlwinds of life. If we are built upon the rock of our Redeemer, we will have safety in the whirlwind. Elder Andersen quoted a recent official statement that "Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established." While many governments have changed the legal definition of marriage, God's definition of marriage remains between a man and a woman. It may be necessary to stand alone on this issue. But remember that everyone, regardless of their position on this or other issues, deserve our love and kindness. There is no place for ridicule, bullying, or bigotry.

Note: Elder Andersen's comments about same-sex marriage will be among the most controversial of this conference. I want to make clear my own position on this issue. I believe that societies have the right to define the kinds of relationships officially recognized by civil authorities, including civil marriage. As stated in the 12th Article of Faith, I believe in "obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law." Yet I also affirm that governments do not have the authority to dictate to churches the definition or practices of their marriage sacraments. Those who would wish the Church to change its practices should understand that it is not in our power to do so--we are subject to God, not the opinions of human beings. and only a revelation from God would have the authority to alter our marriage practices (as happened with plural marriage). I believe that it is possible to honor both the law and the free exercise of religion on this, as on other matters. For people on all sides of the discussion, this is not only a matter of principle but something that touches the very core of their identities, and one that requires us to stretch our willingness to hear, to care, to understand, respect, and love one another.

Henry B. Eyring

Well, shucks. I was typing my note, above, and missed most of President Eyring's talk. I love his messages, so I paused conference and I'll watch and blog this one in a little bit. Meanwhile, MY NEW TV JUST ARRIVED. So I'm going to swap them out and watch the next sessions of GC in 32 inches of 1080p beauty.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

I skipped the statistical church auditing reports because after spending two hours setting up two entertainment systems (my new TV, in my room, and my old TV and VCR to the entertainment system in the living room) I was all dusty and needed to clean myself up. Elder Nelson looks wonderful on my new TV, though.

Russell M. Nelson

"What are we missing in our lives, if we are ever learning and never coming to a knowledge of the truth?" God's guidance should be our primary source of knowledge of the truth. We ought not to segment our lives ethically into "public" and "private", but have courage never to compromise our integrity.

Richard G. Scott

Elder Scott shared stories of how his grandmother and his sweetheart's personal convictions and influence helped to steer the direction of his life through love, example and support. One way we can be such an influence is to ask them questions that will prompt them to think, and then allow them time to do so, whether it take hours or years. Provide additional support and answers to their questions as they work out for themselves how best to respond to the message of the gospel. Keep your sharing of the gospel simple. Concentrate on the basic principles of the gospel, particularly the atonement of Christ. Allow the Holy Spirit to bear witness. Study the doctrines and principles of the gospel diligently, and do not spend too much time on trivial matters. Be worthy of trust. This is one of the greatest talk on how to share the gospel that I can ever recall hearing. It is insightful, compassionate, and practical.

Robert D. Hales

Elder Hales repeats the theme of submitting our will and obedience to God's law, and not supplanting it according our own ideas or popular sentiment. Christ himself submitted his own desires to the Father's will, though it meant suffering the agony of Gethsemane and Golgotha. Spiritually mature obedience is motivated by love for our Father in Heaven and his Son, Jesus Christ. Obedience to God's will "requires mastery, and brings confident, eternal happiness, and provides a sense of fulfillment." The scriptures and church history are filled with examples of those who have learned by experience the peace that comes from keeping the commandments, and the sorrow of disobedience. Even prophets have suffered and had need to repent because of disobedience and yielding to the pressures of others.

Claudio D. Zivic

How joyous it would be if we could reach a point in our conversion where we followed the right path for the love of God alone, and not because of the continual prompting of others. We can easily be led astray if we follow the trends of the world rather than the signs God has provided to lead us along the path of righteousness. If you depart from the path to follow your own will or the fashion of the world, you will feel the pain of remorse and have need to repent and return to the path.

W. Craig Zwick

Elder Zwick is speaking about the need to understand another's perspective before communicating rashly. It's an important message. However, in the examples he gave, he repeatedly characterized the actions of people who acted without a full knowledge of the situation as "irrational." In fact, his wife's actions in jumping out of a smoking semi truck, and Sarah and Sariah's words and actions, were utterly rational according to the knowledge they had. It a crucial distinction. The principle Elder Zwick is communicating is true, though he seems not to have fully applied it himself. I can appreciate the principle and forgive the man's inconsistency and imperfection in practicing what he preaches. We're all works in progress, even our teachers and leaders.

Quentin L. Cook

We have a doctrinal obligation to perform family history and temple ordinances on behalf of our own ancestors. This is because the order of heaven is organized by families. Advances in computer technology and the proliferation of temples throughout the world have increased both the ease and the urgency of participating in this work of salvation. "Our family history centers are now in our homes." Do not underestimate the influence of the deceased in assisting your efforts, and your joy on being reunited with them on the other side of the veil. Remember, we without our roots and branches, cannot be saved. Our families, living and dead, will be blessed as we share in the spirit of Elijah in turning the hearts of the children to the fathers, and the fathers to the children.

I've really enjoyed the choir in this session! "High on the Mountain Top" gave me chills!

SUNDAY MORNING

Half my family is here. 7 adults (including roommates) and 5 kids under the age of 12, all watching conference at my house. I'm in heaven. But I can't promise my blogging will keep up quite as well as usual.

Image: Robinsons watching conference at my house

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Many of us suffer under heavy burdens. Others are tremendously blessed. It is easy to have an "attitude of gratitude" when circumstances are easy. But we can learn to be thankful in our circumstances, whatever they may be. With a spirit of gratitude we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. Gratitude is not only something we experience after our troubles are over, but it can be more. It doesn't mean that we are unrealistic about our challenges, but that we are able to look beyond them. It is an act of faith in God and submission to his will. It is an expression of hope and testimony. We can acknowledge that we do not understand why we must endure particular trials, but trusting that through God's grace, all these things will work together for our good. "Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike virtues."

M. Russell Ballard

Followthrough and followup are essential to successful missionary work. We should not only invite, but reach out to, and walk with those we invite to hear the gospel. The field is white, and the harvest plenteous, but the laborers are few. With the lower missionary age, we have had an influx of full-time missionaries, bringing greater opportunities for members to work with them. Let them know you are willing to help, and how. Pray and work to identify at least one person per year that you can invite to hear the missionaries.

Jean A. Stevens

Prayer is a source of miraculous help, though it may not come in the hour or in the way we want. We must be willing to submit our will to God's will. In prayer, we do not seek to change God's will for us, but because we need that personal connection to God, and because we are changed through prayer.

Congregational Hymn: Teach Me to Walk in the Light

An hour is really a long time for kids to sit and listen to grownups talking on TV, and we still have another hour to go this morning! My nephews and nieces are doing pretty well, but thank goodness for the rest hymn. "Restless hymn" would be more accurate!

Gary E. Stevenson

Several Mormons were among those who competed in the recent Winter Olympics. These athletes had 4 minutes or less to run their race and win the prize. In some cases, performance at the highest level is measured in as little as tenths of a second. Likewise, in our spiritual lives it is often seeminly miniscule adjustments that make the difference in our spiritual progress. Ordinances and covenants are essential steps along our path of discipleship. We and those around us need help and encouragement as we face the challenges of life's race.

David A. Bednar

We ought to be careful not to haul around in our lives so many fun but unnecessary things that they distract us or impede our ability to do what is most important. When we are yoked with the Lord, our burdens will be made light, but they may not be lifted entirely. The atonement not only redeems us from sin but enables us to do good and become better. The atonement is not only for sinners, but for righteous men and women who struggle with the many pains and trials of mortality.

Thomas S. Monson

"The great commandment in the law" is to love God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. We cannot truly love God if we do not love our fellow travelers through mortality, nor can we truly love our fellow mortals if we do not love God. "Actually, love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our exemplar." He saved sinners and rebuked the self-righteous. Love is manifest in kindness, patience, compassion, understanding and forgiveness, and in many other ways. Our ability to recognize another's need and willingness to respond is crucial. Though expressions of loving kindness may require personal sacrifice, nobody ever regretted being "a little too kind." Often, opportunities to show our love come unexpectedly. A commercial flight was diverted because an injured boy needed urgent medical attention. Though the flight was delayed by several hours, not one passenger complained, but as the hours passed, a collection was taken up to help provide for the boy's medical expenses. Loving kindness sometimes requires that we reprove another person's wrongdoing, but let us do so with compassion and encouragement. Do not leave ill feelings or blame to fester and canker the soul. You may forget within moments your simple words and deeds of kindness to another, but the recipient may cherish them for a lifetime. "Heavenly Father, I am glad that you are always here and there."

I asked each of the kids to share something that impressed them from this session of Conference. At their parents' request, I have not used their full names:  

S: was tired and crying and went down for a nap before the session ended. He obviously thought conference was too long. 

J: i like the erch dorj (J typed that: it says "I liked the arched doors" that they walked in and out of at the beginning and end.) J also said he liked when we all stood up and sang "Teach Me to Walk in the Light", and he liked Elder Bednar's talk. 

M2: I liked President Monson's talk about being kind. I also liked when Elder Bendar said that today, April 6th is the original day that the LDS Church was founded and also the day that Jesus Christ was born. 

M1: I liked how the guy, I forget his name, but when he told about when he wanted a new 4-wheel drive truck and he told his wife the reason "what if there is a huge storm and we have to get to the store to buy milk?" And his wife said "If you buy the truck, we won't have any money for milk." I liked when the Tabernacle Choir sang "A Child's Prayer." 

D: I liked Elder Bednar's story about the guy that bought the truck and got stuck in the snow and had to get a bigger load so he could get out. 

SUNDAY AFTERNOON 

Boyd K. Packer

A deep, abiding witness of the truthfulness of the gospel is both a light to follow and a burden to carry. Much of what I know is of a nature that it cannot be taught, but can be learned. Those who do not marry or cannot have children are not excluded from eternal blessings which may now be beyond their reach. These blessings will come, in this life or in the eternities, to all those who make and keep sacred covenants. The Holy Ghost is real, and so is the gift of the Holy Ghost, which all can receive by priesthood blessing. Every blessing, every ordinance, every ordination, every official act in the church is done in the name of Jesus Christ. It is his church. He is the anchor that holds us and gives us shelter through the storms of life.

William R. Walker

First accidental doze-off of confrence. Hope y'all enjoyed the talk while my eyes were closed. I'm not naming names but let's just say that I'm not the only adult here falling asleep during Conference while the kids play quietly on the floor.

L. Tom Perry

Teams of horses may sometimes begin to veer off course, but their course can be corrected by a gentle tug of the reins. The promptings of the Holy Spirit often come as a gentle tug that may easily be ignored, if we are not attuned to the will of the Master. We need faith to follow God's lead. Such faith is more difficult for some than for others. Obedience is a choice between our own limited knowledge and power, or God's unlimited knowledge and power.

Congregational Hymn: "Hark, All Ye Nations"

Wandering attentions are restored as we all stand together and sing. The kids got really into it.

Lawrence E. Corbridge

The revelations received by Joseph Smith affirm his calling as a prophet of God. Revelations have not ceased; the heavens are not closed. There is a living prophet on the earth today. Revelation is available to us today, as a church and individually. The billions who live and die without a knowledge of Christ are not lost: through the ordinances of the restored priesthood all mankind may be saved, both living and dead. We need not take anyone else's word for it; we can do as young Joseph did himself, and ask God to know the truth. God the Eternal Father and Jesus Christ live, and we worship them and none else.

Michael John U. Teh

Unfortunately there is a tendency in our societies to acquire more and more, and to have the latest, greatest, and most costly material goods--things that are too often trivial and transient. Let us not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor our labor for that which cannot satisfy, but lay up treasures in heaven, and be rich toward God. Such treasures include faith, hope, humility, and charity. We ought to spend our time strengthening families, serving others, and studying the Gospel. How we spend our time and energies will have a direct effect on our next estate.

Markos A. Aidukaitis

The internet offers many opportunities for learning, but it can also be used to promote doubt and fear, and to destroy faith and hope. We must consider carefully how we use the internet and other such tools. That which entices to do good and invites belief in Christ is of God. God has counseled us to seek for knowledge. How can we recognize truth in a world that is increasingly more blunt in its attacks against the things of God? Three principles: 1. That which is good brings forth good fruit, and that which is corrupt will bring forth corrupt fruit. Thus, by their fruits and by their works we can recognize what is of God and what is not. 2. We can find truth by experimenting upon the word ourselves, by planting the seed of faith in our hearts, experiencing growth, and receiving the fruits of our faith. 3. We can receive a knowledge of the truth by personal revelation, by first studying the matter, and then asking God in faith to know if it is right. God giveth liberally to those that ask in faith. It requires more diligence than merely searching the internet, but it does work.

D. Todd Christofferson

Elder Christofferson offered a beautiful testimony of the death and resurrection of Christ, and its significance in our lives. Because He lives, we all shall be made alive. No injustice in life is permanent, for his perfect justice and mercy shall make all things right. By understanding who Christ is and what He has done for us, we can understand the purpose and meaning of our own existence. We will one day see Christ face to face; until then we have the many witnesses of prophets and apostles, and the Holy Spirit's witness to our own hearts, of His divine identity, life, and atonement.

President Thomas S. Monson

May we be kind and loving to those who do not share our beliefs and standards. The savior offered a perfect example of love and service; may we follow Him. May we constantly nourish our testimonies, that they may be a protection to us, and may we ever be found doing the work of the Lord.

Final update: I noticed that M1 was diligently writing in her notebook all through conference. My SiL usually makes "conference notebooks" with attention activities for them to do during sessions. She didn't have time to do that with all the travel preparations, so M1 made her own, based loosely on what her mom had done in the past. I asked if I could share some of them and she graciously agreed. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

Mormons and the Path of Revelation

Disclaimer: The contents of this blog are my opinion. I believe that opinion to be well-informed and in harmony with the teachings of the LDS church, but my words should not be taken as official doctrine or policy. I invite you to study and reflect on the matter yourselves. 

Second disclaimer: There's some stuff going on right now in the church that certainly informs the context of what I'm saying and why I'm saying it now. My post should not be taken as endorsement of any of those ideas, issues, voices, or movements currently in the spotlight (and they are many and varied, which is why I'm not linking to any of them in particular). It is, rather, a response to a criticism of such ideas generally, which I have increasingly heard in recent months--a criticism which I claim is misguided. Please do not misunderstand my purpose, or impute motives beyond what I have stated here. I've chosen my words carefully; at this time I do not mean to say any more nor less than what I have said.

Latter-day Saints (Mormons) share a strong belief in continuing revelation, and that changes to church policy and additional doctrine always come by revelation, and are disseminated to the whole church through the proper channels of authority--the prophet.* This is true, and wise; it prevents fragmentation.

But many Latter-day Saints also believe that such revelations are always a completely top-down affair--that if God wants something to change, he will tell the prophet (or maybe one of the general authorities) first. The scriptures and LDS church history demonstrate that this last proposition is not true. As this blogger documents, there is a long tradition of revelation coming first to members, working its way up to the prophet, and from there spreading out to the whole church.** But don't stop with his handful of examples. Last year, LDS Sunday Schools throughout the world studied the Doctrine & Covenants. Even a casual reading of that book of scripture will provide many more examples of the pattern of revelation Brother Swift and I are describing. A study of the other books of scripture will yield additional examples; I invite you to look for them as we study the Old Testament this year.

In other words, my first paragraph contains two connected, but separate propositions:

1. God is continuing to reveal truth to the world. 

2. Revelation affecting the whole church must go through the prophet.

A third proposition--really a modified form of the second--that "major" revelation must originate with the prophet (or at least the general authorities), is neither true, nor necessary to the conclusion that God stands at the head of this church and guides it. 

We often say that we have to have stewardship in order to properly receive revelation in a given area. But note that, while Sarah Granger Kimball became one of the first leaders of the Relief Society, at the time she began to organize a women's organization in the church, she held no such "stewardship" in any official sense. My point is that we cannot lightly dismiss "ordinary members" when they have questions or ideas concerning the church, simply because they are "ordinary members."

Because continuing revelation is a cornerstone of our faith, there are few things more important for Mormons than to understand how it operates, both for the church, and in our own lives. As Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 12, we are one body in Christ, and each member is necessary and honorable. All of us have access to the Holy Spirit; all are entitled to receive revelation from God. We cannot dictate our ideas to the church, it is true. God's house is a house of order. But all of us--the newest baptized member no less than Thomas S. Monson himself--have the privilege and responsibility to seek inspiration concerning the work of building Zion, and to act faithfully and humbly on the inspiration we receive.

image: The Sacred Grove, by Greg Olsen. source: history.lds.org

The Awesome Internet Contest

In case you didn't already know, there is a contest to fill the internet with Awesome. It has been going on forever, and it may never end. Here are the 7 official contest rules:

1.  Be awesome on the internet.
2. If you see someone being awesome on the internet, award them Awesome Internet Points.
3. If you see someone being lousy on the internet, subtract Awesome Internet Points.
4. You cannot award yourself Points, but you can subtract Points from yourself.
5. Points should be awarded (or subtracted) in proportion to actual awesomeness (or lousiness).
6. It is possible (even probable) to have less than zero Points.
7. The first person to achieve 10,000,000,000,000 Awesome Internet Points wins.

Grand Prize: The actual Internet. You will own it, and you will have the key to prove it. Also a Pagani Huayra, the awesomest car in existence. To claim your prize, just send verification of the authenticity of your 10,000,000,000,000 Awesome Internet Points to Pagani and the owners of the Internet. This is not a hoax. They will totally deliver.*

Image source: http://kronos-kirbi.deviantart.com/art/You-Win-the-Internet-349270288

*This contest is not sponsored or even authorized by Pagani or the owners of the Internet, whoever they might be, and they probably don't even know about it. If they did know about it, they would reserve the right not to deliver. But who cares? Awesomeness is its own reward. 

Words I Try to Live By

Sometimes I find myself saying things--words of counsel or comfort--or maybe words come to me when I'm meditating or praying over some problem or soul-pain of my own, and I think "I must remember that." I have written some of them down. I am not always wise (I am often very foolish), but I think these words are wise. This list is, of course, a work in progress.

Never take offense when a charitable interpretation of motive is at all plausible. 

It is hard to need, but God gave us weaknesses for a reason. Do not despise your own weakness, but strive to overcome it if you can.

Be grateful for charity; do not refuse a gift given in kindness, but pay it forward when you can.

Sometimes the people close to you are not lovable. Love them anyway. Sometimes you are not lovable. Allow yourself to be loved anyway. Love is a gift; it can't be earned. Strive to live up to it anyway.

Neither time, nor distance, nor the works of men can frustrate the purposes of God. 

You are not alone, and you are not the only one struggling. Your problems are no bigger (but also no smaller) than your neighbor's. To know and to feel that is charity.

Committing is hard, because it means closing the door on other possibilities. But not to choose is even more restrictive: it is the suspension of possibility, the refusal of opportunity. To reject choice is death.

Kindness is more important than rules. Integrity is more important than comfort. Love is more important than strength. Wisdom is more important than being right. Learning is more important than seeming smart.

True faith is not blind, but understands the fallibility of human sight.

Here are some words of wisdom from others. None of these are from the scriptures, because that would need an entire list in itself.

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and... bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant." —The 11th Doctor, "Vincent and the Doctor"

"Darkness exists, but [do not] dwell there. Light also exists."  —Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Hope of God's Light"

"If today we fail to be wise and generous and good, tomorrow we may succeed, and if not, we may fail at a higher level." —Jim W. Corder, Selected Essays of Jim W. Corder 

"Faith and obedience are one and the same spirit: what in the heart we call faith, in the will we call obedience." —George MacDonald, The Curate's Awakening 

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." —Shakespeare's Measure for Measure, Act 1, Scene IV. 

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.... Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses." —C. S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory"  

"Ideas create idols; only wonder leads to knowing." —attributed to St. Gregory of Nyssa

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." —Hanlon's Razor

Image Source: Imgur, "The 33 Most Beautiful Abandoned Places in the World"

Why I Am a Doctor Who Fan

People sometimes ask me why I think Doctor Who is so great. Since its 50th anniversary is this Saturday, I thought I'd take some time to talk about what Doctor Who means to me.

First, a bit of personal history. I grew up watching Doctor Who. KUED 7 used to air it late on Saturday nights. I remember sneaking out of bed, peeking around the hallway corner to watch it when my parents thought I was asleep. Later, they let my brothers and me stay up to watch it with them, as long as we took our baths in time. Peter Davison was my first Doctor. When my dad got a computer with a 14.4k modem in the early 90's, I joined rec.arts.drwho on Usenet, and #drwho on IRC. I still remember how to draw a Tardis using only ASCII characters:

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I chatted with Doctor Who fans around the world--there was nobody else I knew outside my family who even knew what Doctor Who was. This was during the dry years after 1989, when there was no new Doctor Who on television, and probably never would be. I witnessed (and sometimes joined) several canon wars, the endless debates between "frocks" and "guns" over which serials were the best, and whether the fact that the show was canceled before the Cartmel Masterplan could be realized was a blessing or a curse (a blessing, by the way--unequivocally). Jon Blum and Paul Cornell once complimented me on a bit of fanfic I wrote as a teenager, which sadly I have since lost. I got trolled by the infamous David Yadallee. I collected many of the Virgin New Adventures during the long years, and somewhere along the way, I also acquired the 25th Anniversary commemorative coffee table book (which I pored over endlessly), a Dalek T-shirt, a Cyberman and a K-9 poster, a Dapol Dalek, and a ceramic police box coin bank that my mom found at a thrift store.

I was over the moon when the first news of the Fox/BBC 1996 TV Movie broke, angsted with my fellow fans online over every dreadful production rumor (and they were truly, truly dreadful--complain all you want about how awful the TVM was; be grateful. It could have been so, so much worse), cheered when I watched it, bought a t-shirt with McGann's face superimposed over the Seal of Rassilon, and debated endlessly about just how terrible the movie was, and why--except for Paul McGann of course, and the new orchestral arrangement of the theme song. They were perfect. I was a founding member of the Paul McGann Estrogen Brigade. And I was, to tell the truth, a little sad, but mostly relieved when Fox didn't pick up the option for a series based on the movie, even though it certainly meant that Doctor Who was gone for good.

Nearly a decade crawled past, the internet evolved, Usenet became a quiet backwater and IRC just kind of faded away--or anyway I faded from them. I grew tired of retreading endless fan debates, I drifted away from the online fan community, but I still watched and re-watched my collection of VHS tapes, and re-read my books, and made up fanfic in my head. And then in 2005, a miracle happened. The BBC brought Doctor Who back. Months before it got picked up by the Sci-Fi channel, a friend from the UK sent my family a copy of "Rose" recorded off his telly. Those of us still living at home at the time huddled around my brother's little 17" CRT monitor to witness the rebirth. The moment the familiar theme began, I remember jumping out of my chair (I knocked my knee against the desk in my excitement), cheering and dancing gleefully with my mom. We all felt it: Doctor Who was back to stay, as it was meant to be--almost as if it had never been gone at all. I still get a thrill every time the opening credits roll. I just can't believe how lucky I am to really be seeing new episodes of Doctor Who.

It's surreal to walk into a Barnes & Noble and see Doctor Who merchandise on the shelves. If I mention Doctor Who in company these days, I'm as likely to be met with broad smiles of fellow feeling as I am with blank stares or sneers. Yesterday, I passed a student on campus wearing a 10th Doctor coat. I heard there was a Dalek on campus during Homecoming this year. I know some people dislike all the new series' popularity and kitschy merchandise. There's some nostalgia for the old days when only the True Fans were in on the secret. I'm not one of those people. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather that Doctor Who be good than popular. But as long as it's still good (and it is so very, very good!), popularity can only be a bonus. And even though a lot of the merchandise is frankly rubbish--look, when I was a kid, my brothers and I used a broken tire pressure gauge for a sonic screwdriver. Now I've got two proper toy Sonics--TWO! And the 11-year-old me could not be more thrilled.

But the fact that Doctor Who was such a massive part of my childhood and adolescence doesn't explain why it's so popular all over the world now. It doesn't explain what's so great about the show itself. Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, it's about the Doctor. It's about the kind of being he is, the kind of life he exemplifies. And it's about exuberant, unabashed joy.

Let me explain. In case you didn't know, the Doctor is an 1100-ish year-old Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. He has two hearts, and when his body gets worn out by illness or injury, he doesn't die; he regenerates. He's been travelling through time and space in a stolen ship (called the Tardis) for about 900 years, and in that time he's seen a lot, lost a lot, and saved the universe a lot. Yet despite all he's seen, and all the pain he's experienced, his default reaction to every new encounter is openness, curiosity, and wide-eyed wonder. He's incredibly clever, and always eager to learn something new. He's incredibly powerful, but also deeply fallible, and despite the darkness lurking inside him, he chooses to be a good man. That's why he calls himself the Doctor--a name that means healer, and wise man. That name he chose, he told Clara, was a promise he made to himself. It's an ethos the show itself embraces. As Craig Ferguson put it, "It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism."

Doctor Who, the show, has not always been great. At times it's been very, very bad. But at its best, there's simply nothing better. It's a show that can go anywhere, do nearly anything (and nearly has). It's got all my favorite things--cleverness and silliness, historical drama and space adventure, robots and monsters, heroism and friendship. And that beautiful blue box that's bigger on the inside. How could I not love it? Doctor Who is hugely ambitious but not at all pretentious. Even the embarrassing episodes always make me smile. Doctor Who reminds me that although the universe might sometimes be a terrifying place, it's also beautiful and wonderful and full of goodness, and that the wonder is worth the monsters.

Guilt-free Writing Time

This update is a little late because I was in Utah over the weekend celebrating my grandmother's 90th birthday. Fortunately, I was able to use my tablet to keep to my writing schedule while riding in the car on the way there and back. Without a WiFi connection, I couldn't access many of my notes, drafts, and reference articles, because they're all stored on Dropbox and apparently it didn't all sync to my tablet because I haven't been using my tablet nearly as much since I finally got a smartphone. That made it a little harder to put my writing time to as good a use as I would have liked, but I still wrote something. This potential problem with my writing infrastructure will have to be addressed in the near future.

The other thing I had to deal with last week was guilt-induced writer's block. See, I had this pile of student papers to grade, and I should have had them finished by the end of the previous week. So on Monday morning when I was trying to write, all I could think about was those papers that I still needed to grade. After 45 minutes of non-productivity, I gave into the guilt and went back to grading. The same thing happened Tuesday afternoon. On Wednesday morning, however, although I still wasn't done grading (it was a particularly arduous grading process for various reasons), as I sat down at my computer, my internal voice was telling me "I have to write now, even though the grading isn't done."

That "I have to write now" didn't feel good at all. Then it occurred to me that no, I don't have to write during my writing time--or any time, actually. But the whole point of having writing time set aside is that it means I get to write then, totally guilt-free, no matter what else I have to do that day, or that week, because writing time is writing time. Not grading time. Not answering frantic student emails time. Not helping friends' daughters with their Language Arts homework over the phone time. All that other stuff is what the rest of my time is for.

For two hours a day, I get to work on my own writing, without worrying about anything else. Writing time is guilt-free writing time. 

That was a tremendous realization for me. It probably shouldn't have been, but I'm just thick like that sometimes. The other thing that I had to do this past week was turn off literally every notification I could find on my computer, my tablet, and my smart phone. Notifications are my enemy. They make me feel bad about the things I'm not paying attention to right now, as opposed to being fully engaged with what I am doing right now.

Anyway, I'm still well behind schedule, but I'm still making progress. I've reached a point where I need to go back and re-read some Kenneth Burke, to clarify my definition of his comic frame and figure out how it maps onto the concepts of techne and phronesis. Reading Burke is fun, in the same way that opening clamshell packaging is fun. It's ridiculously hard but the goods inside are usually worth the challenge.

In other news, my housemate Stephanie got left behind this weekend as the rest of us were traveling. Apparently, she got a little lonely, and couldn't stand to wait any longer to buy my Christmas present. But she got attached to him herself over the weekend, so we're going to have joint custody of this beautiful little guy (I can't blame her. He's so relaxing to watch). He needs a name. Right now I'm thinking about Kazran, Rory, or Jim the Fish.