A blog about anything that interests me. So mainly Doctor Who, rhetoric, composition, metaphor and symbol, Mormonism, family, books, and random geeky things. Not necessarily in that order.
It should go without saying that the views I express here are my own, and do not represent those of my employer, church, etc.
It seems likely that what I say in this post will offend some friends and readers on either side of this issue. For many of you, the question of whether marriage should include same-sex couples is a no-brainer, and you met Friday's Supreme Court decision with either unmitigated joy or disappointment. Yet I have thought long and hard about it, and I still do not fully know what I feel or ought to think. Perhaps, lacking such moral certainty, it would be wiser for me to remain silent. Yet not to speak, in this moment of profound social change, feels too much like cowardice.
Defenders of man-woman marriage call it "traditional." Advocates of gay marriage talk endlessly of being on the "right side of history." Both the appeal to tradition and the appeal to progress hold no sway for me; they are equally fallacious. For me, this is a matter of relationships: with my God, my family, and my friends. Though I'm fully aware that I cannot always have it all ways, my purpose in writing this is to help those of you who profess certainty to understand the tension that I feel, and that I believe many others share, between our love and respect for our LGBT friends on the one hand, and our deeply held religious and political beliefs on the other. I'm a Mormon through and through, and the focus of my comments reflects that, but I'm not trying to persuade non-Mormons of anything, nor am I inviting argument. I'm just personally working through some stuff and trying to be understood in the meantime. And if you're not interested in understanding me, I get it. I will be sad, but not offended if you stop reading or even walk away from me.
I profess faith in a church which affirms that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and which espouses as a central doctrine that the creation of eternal families is one of the primary purposes of mortal life. I find both beauty and power in the doctrine of the complementarity of the sexes which heterosexual marriage ideally embodies, yet I freely admit being puzzled as to the nature of pre-mortal gender. My study of history and literature across many centuries demonstrates quite plainly that what we sometimes assume to be essential gender characteristics are actually socially constructed, and quite malleable. Even though I believe there are essentially feminine and masculine characteristics, I confess I do not know precisely what they are.
I have felt for some time that these doctrines must be exceedingly painful for those whose sexuality precludes the possibility of fulfilling cisnormative, heterosexual marriage, yet who deeply desire to the bonds of family which we Mormons boldly proclaim to be the crowning glory of mortal life. That it is undoubtedly painful does not preclude the possibility of its being true, of course. Many truths are painful. Regardless, I have seen sufficient evidence to persuade me that most people do not choose which gender they identify as or are sexually attracted to, and cannot change their gender identity or sexual orientation. This, too, creates a theological puzzle for me, yet a lifetime of experience has instilled in me a trust in my God, and in His prophets and scriptures, which despite my incomplete knowledge, I cannot deny. In any case, I certainly don't expect those who don't share my faith to live according to its doctrine.
Despite a great deal of study, I have not found compelling empirical reasons why a government which provides civil marriage at all, has the right to limit it according to the religious beliefs of some of its members. More specifically, I believe that civil marriage, if it exists at all, must of necessity be defined by the will of society. I have heard arguments that marriage must be defined as between a man and a woman because societies have a vested interest in nurturing the rising generation and children are better off being raised by a mom and a dad. But even if we admit there are social and developmental benefits to sexual complementarity in parenting, I believe that same-sex couples can raise happy, well-adjusted, ethical children, just as single, divorced, and widowed parents can. The stable commitment that marriage fosters can only enhance that ability, and I believe that the Supreme Court ruling will have a positive effect on families with LGBT parents.
I honestly do not know whether the Supreme Court's declaration of a constitutional right to marry is correct. I'm not sure I believe in a civil right to marry at all, and even though I do believe that governments which extend the privilege of marriage ought to do so equitably, I believe the balance of power set up in our federal government would have been safer had the issue been settled through the legislative process rather than the judicial. But that takes time, and many people I care about were tired of waiting. I can't help but feel glad for them that their wait is over.
Many on the religious right have expressed fears that the free exercise of religion will be restricted as a result of this ruling. I wish I could believe that these fears are unjustified, but the possibility is real. Nevertheless I choose to believe that we can and will enact and uphold laws and policies which do justice both to the legality of same-sex marriage and to the free exercise of religion. The right of churches to define the sacrament of marriage according to their own doctrines must remain inviolable. Nor should religious people or institutions be compelled to participate in civil marriages against their consciences, so long as their abstention does not prevent others from marrying civilly.
Just as religious liberties must be respected, so must human dignity. Jesus declared that the second great commandment is to "love thy neighbor as thyself." He made no exceptions based on race, gender, or sexual orientation. The legalization of gay marriage does not one whit diminish our duty to care for the poor, the sick, the outcast and the marginalized. Furthermore, regardless of religious affiliation (or non-affiliation) or marital status, all of us do have a vested interest in protecting, nurturing, and strengthening families so that new generations can grow up healthy and wise. On these issues, we ought all to be allies.
I just started reading this book,Five Billion Years of Solitude: The Search for Life among the Stars. It's by a science journalist, Lee Billings. It's beautifully fascinating, so far, and I'm only halfway through chapter 2. Anyway, he's describing this conversation with Frank Drake, the father of SETI. Here is an excerpt:
Beginning in the late 1980s, Drake had begun exploring an idea that made a lunar far side dotted with telescopes seem like child's play.... He wanted to create a telescope that would surpass all others, one with a magnifying lens nearly a million and a half kilometers in diameter. Drake had found a way to transform the Sun itself into the ultimate telescope.
A consequence of the Sun's immense mass is that it acts as a star-size "gravitational lens," bending and amplifying light that grazes its surface. This effect, first measured during a solar eclipse in 1919 by the astronomer Arthur Eddington, was one of the key pieces of evidence that validated Einstein's theory of general relativity. Simple math and physics, judiciously applied, show that our star bends light into a narrow beam aligned with the center of the Sun and the center of any far-distant light source.... There are as many focal points and Sun-magnified beams as there are luminous objects in the sky--imagine a great sphere surrounding our star, its surface painted with amplified, high-resolution projected images of the heavens....
If, for instance, we wished to examine a potentially habitable planet orbiting one of the two Sun-like stars in Alpha Centauri, the Sun's nearest neighboring stellar system, a 10-meter telescope aligned with the Sun-Alpha Centauri gravitational focus could resolve surface features such as rivers, forests, and city lights....
"One of the beauties of gravitational lenses is that since the lensing object bends space, all light traveling through is equally affected," Drake said, squinting into the sunlight beneath one of his lemon trees. "Gravitational lenses are achromatic--they work the same for optical light, infrared, everything. I like to think of what they could do for radio.... You look at the numbers, and at first it seems totally insane, but this is real. You could transmit, let's see, high-bandwidth signals from here to Alpha Centauri using only one watt of power....
"That's the transmitting power of a cell phone," he finished. (pages 35-36)
So, as I'm reading this, you know what pops into my head (I mean besides a steady chorus of "holy cow that's amazing" with full orchestral accompaniment)?
6 The angels do not reside on a planet like this earth;
7 But they reside in the presence of God, on a globe like a sea of glass and fire, where all things for their glory are manifest, past, present, and future, and are continually before the Lord.
8 The place where God resides is a great Urim and Thummim.
And I'm thinking about how we interpret John's descriptions of what he saw in Revelation as being a pre-industrial man's interpretation of modern or futuristic technology in language his contemporary audience could understand. And I'm thinking that Joseph Smith was, technologically speaking, closer to John than he was to us, and that like John, Joseph's revelations are full of poetry. And who knows, maybe that joke Mormons like to tell these days about the white stones in Revelation 2:17/D&C 130:10 being iPhones aren't actually that far from the truth.
To my mind, that's one of the awesome things about Mormonism. For us, there is no such thing as the supernatural. Miracles, including revelation, are not the result of a suspension of natural laws, but of God's complete mastery over their workings. Now, lest by some chance a reader stumbles upon my blog who isn't familiar with Mormon doctrine, I must make clear that our God is not just some kind of advanced alien but indeed our Heavenly Father, and however much it might reveal to us about the nature and workings of the universe, no amount of scientific study or technological advancement can reconcile fallen humanity to Him or indeed to each other; only the atonement of Jesus Christ can do that. But I believe nevertheless that science is a source of truth and light and that, when used righteously, it is good in God's sight.
One of my favorite teaching activities for the first day of class is to have students write a metaphor or simile for their writing, or for themselves as writers. Lately I've also had students add an image that represents their metaphor. The activity is a way to introduce some concepts and practice some technical skills right off the bat, but more importantly, it's a quick way for me to get some insight into how my students think about writing.
As with last conference, my blog will try to capture some of my thoughts as I listen to conference messages, rather than reporting on what was said. I encourage you to watch the messages yourself, or read the text versions which are distributed a day or so after each broadcast. You can find excellent summaries of each talk by visiting Conference at a Glance. General Women's Session, March 28th 2015
Yes, that's right. The General Women's Session. A tiny change of wording, from "meeting" to "session" marks this twice-yearly gathering of LDS women as an integral part of General Conference. Not a nice extra. Of course it always was, but words matter; recognition matters. Such small changes happen all the time in the church without fanfare; you have to be paying attention. And remember that "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass."
Cheryl A. Esplin
The contrast set up in this talk bewteen "seemingly smart men" who ridicule the gospel, and the humble faithful, who find truth through revelation, is a common one, and it bothers me every time I hear it. Even though I believe in revelation as a source of truth, I am also a scholar. This dichotomy doesn't dominate discourse about knowledge within the church--we also often hear about the commandment to seek wisdom and knowledge on all subjectsout of the best books--so why does it still bother me?
Carole M Stephens
I appreciate Sister Stevens' nuanced approach to empathy. It is a good reminder that even where our personal experience is limited, we can exercise compassion and humility in expanding our sphere of influence, and it occurs to me that a sphere of influence means not just that we are able to influence others, but that we open ourselves to more abundant positive influence from others.
Bonnie L. Oscarson
It being the 20th anniversary of the Family Proclamation, the theme of this session is clearly "defend the family" and there is a lot of emphasis on the type of defense: valiant, bold, upstanding. As traditional as LDS views on the family are in many respects, I appreciate Sister Oscarson's reminder that the church has always championed women's education, and encouraged women to be leaders in both domestic and public spheres. I believe that continuing to champion traditional roles such as wife and mother, husband and father, does not mean having "regressive" attitudes about gender roles, but rather a more expansive view of what women and men can do and be, and how society can strengthen families by supporting women and men in their family roles.
Henry B Eyring
Desires to help, to serve, to have compassion come from the Holy Spirit, and from our faithfully answering the call of discipleship to "bear one another's burdens". What strikes me most is how important it is to listen, and to understand, in order best to serve those we love. I think sometimes in our zeal to ease others' burdens, we skip that essential step. But how can we bear one another's burdens if we don't really know what they are? Another important point: we lighten others' burdens best by strengthening them, rather than merely trying to take their burdens away. Christlike compassion is key, for "charity is the pure love of Christ."
Saturday Morning Session, April 4th 2015
My live stream of conference is experiencing some technical difficulties; it keeps freezing. If you're following live, please forgive me; I'm now several minutes behind the live feed.
Henry B. Eyring Fasting is one of the most beautiful religious principles and practices I know, and one that is practiced in different ways by many religions. Fasting is not only a practice of self-abnegation, whether of food or other things. It is self-abnegation coupled with a special gift of charity--that is, a gift above what ought to be a disciple's everyday charity. It's not about adding to a disciple's burdens, but a way God has given His faithful to bear one another's burdens. It is a source of spiritual strength and tangible goodness in my life, and I testify with President Eyring that its blessings extend around the world. Those of us who live in relatively prosperous circumstances perhaps do not fully realize the profound gift that the law of the fast is.
Boyd K. Packer
As much as I am moved by the image of covenant marriage and family relations he describes, perhaps a greater message for me lies in President Packer's actions. His health has been frail for many years, and continues to decline. Yet every six months he sits (because he can no longer stand) and shares a message and a testimony with the church and the world, though the physical struggle this entails is visibly increasing. I have asthma, and I know what it feels like to struggle to gather enough breath to speak. Yet here is a man who, while he has breath, however faint, uses it to proclaim the gospel.
Linda K. Burton
Recently I read the blog of a woman who had, as her daily scripture study, been reading all the General Conference talks given by women since 1971. Among the powerful insights she shared was a rhetorical one. She noted that over the years, women conference speakers had explicitly addressed the women of the church. Sister Ostler supposed that this contributed to the perception that when a woman stood at the conference pulpit, it was a good time to take a quick break. Though like Sister Burton today, our women leaders of the church have long addressed the general body of the church and sometimes even men directly, the perception persists for many that women's messages at conference are not as worthy of our attention. Sister Burton's counsel about righteous relationships between husbands and wives, men and women, is certainly of great importance to all of us.
Dallin H. Oaks
Last week, I taught the Parable of the Sower as part of our assigned Sunday School curriculum. As I prepared that lesson, what was impressed most upon my mind was that in the parable, we are neither the sower nor the seed, but the soil--and the power of the parable for us depends upon our reflecting on the condition of our hearts, and the knowledge that we have the power to cultivate or neglect our spiritual soil. Elder Oaks' message is a direct invitation to so reflect, and a call to repentance.
L. Whitney Clayton
"We actively choose to believe, just as we actively choose to keep other commandments." Yes, belief is a choice, but not a free one. That is, we are expected not merely to choose to believe for belief's sake alone. We are expected to study the grounds for belief, to "overcome our doubts" as Brother Clayton says. And belief entails both consequences in the form of covenants we make and keep, and blessings as we live according to our beliefs.
L. Tom Perry
I appreciate Elder Perry's emphasis on strengthening marriages and families, and stressing the ideal of family permanence, rather than only focusing on traditional family structure. As marriage and family ties are among the most precious and sacred gifts available to us in this life, we who take up the cause of defending family as the bedrock of a healthy society have much work to attend to within our own houses. More than talking about what families ought to be, we need to foster environments where families can grow, thrive, and endure. I believe that such a focus on our own families will do more to strengthen the role of family in society than will judging others' families--or their lack of families. Elder Perry's talk is not shy in denouncing "alternative lifestyles," yet my mind keeps returning to Matthew 7:3-5. I think most Latter-day Saints do not only believe but strive to live the principles of eternal families--but we still have much work to do toward building up our own families and the families within our communities. There are other threats and challenges to families besides those posed by counter-cultural perceptions of family structures.
Saturday Afternoon Session
The lds.org live feed continues to stall, so I've switched to BYUtv. Seems OK so far, but apparently I missed something in the sustaining of church officers. Oh hey! There's former BYU-Idaho President Kim B. Clark! I suspected he was going to be called as a Seventy.
Thanks to Twitter I now know that somebody voiced their opposition to sustaining the First Presidency. That's the first time in my memory that an opposing vote has been made (but not by any means the first time it's happened). It was respectfully acknowledged by President Uchtdorf.
David A. Bednar
I'll admit, I was distracted from a large part of Elder Bednar's talk by thinking and reading about the sustaining of church officers. But my roommate declared, "that talk was awesome!" so I'll definitely have to go back and watch it again.
D. Todd Christofferson
Yes, marriage is not just about the love shared by a couple, but is a heavenly gift that entails responsibilities to God, children, and society. Marriage between a man and a woman, with the attendant bearing and nurturing of human souls, holds a unique place within LDS theology. Our position on the family is ultimately founded on this doctrine, and not on social science. "No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children."
Wilford W. Anderson
The dance steps of the gospel are the things we do; the revelations and doctrines of the gospel are the music by which we dance. What a beautiful extended metaphor! Yep, our dance is a peculiar dance. Let's not sit on the folding chairs around the edge of the cultural hall. The melodies of the gospel are love unfeigned, longsuffering, patience, and kindness. And it is up to us to practice harmony in our homes and congregations.
Dale G. Renlund
"Saints are sinners who keep on trying." Conversion is a sweet change, and one that is always available to us. "No failure ever need be final." We need space and time for personal growth. And as this is true for me, it is also true for my neighbors, perhaps especially for those who offend or injure me. There is room in the church for everyone who is trying to become more like Christ. If we don't try, we're just Latter-day Sinners. If we stop trying, we're Latter-day Quitters. And if we don't allow others to keep on trying, we're just Latter-day Hypocrites.
Michael T. Ringwood
Success is not measured by position or authority, but by the effects our service has on living souls, including our own. Whether or not we have an official calling, we can continually seek for ways to meet the needs of those within our congregations and spheres of influence.
Quentin L. Cook
I dozed off, but the beginning and end of this talk were promising. I especially appreciated the message to be respectful of those whose traditions and cultures seem to cause concern or conflict with some aspects of the church. And the message that, contrary to rumor, people are not increasingly leaving the church, and in many measures, members are stronger and more active than in the past.
So, here's a bit of a post-script, because there has been a lot of emphasis on strengthening families so far this conference, and a lot of folks both within and outside the church have this idea that the Mormon concept of an ideal family involves ultra-conservative gender roles and stuff, and I see something much more rich and complex and beautiful, as illustrated in this Mormon TV ad that I completely love.
Sunday Morning Session, April 5th, 2015
There is no sound more beautiful than the sound of "Alleluia!" sung on Easter morning. He is Risen!
My blogging may be slightly slow or sparse for the first few talks because I promised my roommates Easter Waffles, and they're still cooking!
Thomas S. Monson
God does answer prayers. My experience has rarely been as dramatic as the one shared by President Monson about the young missionary, but I have consistently received answers--often clear, sometimes involving more effort to discern.
Rosemary M. Wixom
What an important talk! If you are confident in your testimony, be willing to respect others' doubts, and if you doubt, be willing to respect others' confidence. Trust the light and reason you have--help will always come when you need it, and it will be enough. Jesus Christ will never turn you away.
Update: I love what this blogger wrote about President Wixom's talk. I hope you'll read the whole thing, but I'll share one quote in particular:
To love and empathize with another we need to do our best to hear and represent their voice authentically, and we don’t need to say just the perfect thing in response.
Jose A. Teixeira
The joy of abiding in Christ can continue despite great tribulation. And "abide" denotes continual contact. Through the internet and social media, we have both the ability to disconnect from others even when we are physically present, and the ability to have more continual contact with the gospel and with those we love. Let's choose to use these tools to draw closer to each other, to the body of Christ which is the church, not forgetting to draw closer to Christ through frequent prayer and scripture study.
Gerald Causse
It is easy to take for granted the marvelous things that are close around us. The feeling of marvel can be a source of energy and joy. Yet we are prone to slip back into complacency, to lose our sense of wonder. Faith cannot be anchored in wonder--it must be anchored in the plain and simple truths of the gospel. So anchored, if we pay attention, we will find our sense of wonder at all that God has done for us constantly renewed.
Brent H. Nielson
This is the second talk of this session that focuses on how we ought to respond to those who deviate from the gospel path. We cannot compel them to stay or to return, but we ought to continually show our love, and be willing to greet them with open arms in our homes and congregations. This feels especially poignant in light of recent, public dissension by church members, which has too often been met by short-tempered invitations to "love it or leave it," or as I saw more than one Tweet express yesterday, "sustain the Brethren or find another church." Such expressions are not in harmony with the example of the Savior. I believe that if we will abide in love and patiently wait, the light of Christ will guide those we love to our eternal home, and if their path takes a few detours, those who return will have learned things that can strengthen all of us.
Jeffrey R. Holland
I was far too enthralled by Elder Holland's marvelous sermon on the Fall and the Atonement to write anything. I cannot add anything to it. Watch it, read it, again and again.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Grace unlocks the gate of heaven and opens the windows of heaven to pour out God's blessings upon us. No amount of good works can earn our way into heaven, but the mercy of Christ is a free gift, which not only opens the way but blesses those who seek the Lord with the strength to complete the journey back to God. Salvation cannot be purchased by sinners at any price. We serve God, not to earn anything but to show our love and gratitude to Him who redeemed us with his blood, and because His love working in us inspires us to do and to share goodness. God does not wait until after we have expended every effort, but commences with us immediately when we turn to Him, and abides with us as long as we endure.
Sunday Afternoon Session
We're in the home stretch of conference, and I'm physically and mentally fatigued. I've reached the stage of conference where I have to stand up to stay alert. Fortunately, I have an adjustable keyboard stand.
Robert D. Hales
Religious liberty and respect go hand in hand. And we are responsible to safeguard these sacred freedoms and rights. Ultimately, how we live our religion matters more than what we say about our religion. Amen to that!
Kevin W. Pearson
All of us are susceptible to doubt and deception. "Hang in there" is not a principle of the gospel. Enduring to the end means something more. It is a firm commitment to stay the course we entered into when we made sacred covenants. This talk is painting a pretty bleak picture of the internet and social media: "searching #spaciousbuilding will not lead you to a knowledge of the truth." But it is true that we generally find what we seek, and we cannot afford to stop seeking gospel light. So, here's a confession: I've developed the habit of checking social media in the morning before I open my scriptures. I believe there's great good to be had through social media as well as great potential for harm. But I think my priorities, as attested by my behavior, are mixed up.
Rafael E. Pino
Whoever's in charge of the sound system this conference has really reduced the volume of the non-English conference speaker. It makes it a bit easier to hear the English translator, but I miss being able to catch fragments of other languages.
Perspective really does make a difference. If we're too far away or too close, we are likely to miss important details, and even to mis-perceive what we are seeing altogether. Love and gratitude are great perspective-correcters, in my experience. And an eternal perspective can help us weather the everyday and the acute pains and anxieties of our mortal lives.
Hahaha! Dieter F Uchtdorf suddenly started conducting in German: Oops! I forgot to speak English!
Neil L Andersen
God is mindful of every people. The marvelous work of the gospel is moving forward. One way we can see the hand of God moving the work is in the continued building of temples throughout the world, enabling more saints to obtain temple covenants, and perform saving ordinances for their ancestors. As important as growth in church membership is, so is growth in the spiritual lives of church members, for the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.
Jorge F. Zeballos
Once we become covenant members of the church of Jesus Christ, our responsibility becomes nothing less than to keep that covenant and obtain exaltation. "How...could we be content with anything short of exaltation if we know that exaltation is possible?” Because I have developed a relationship of trust with the Lord, and because I have made covenants to follow Him, I can continue along the gospel path, fulfill the duties and receive the blessings of discipleship, even in the face of doubts. I can patiently persevere as I wait for further light and knowledge.
Joseph W. Sitati
This is an interesting reading of God's commandment to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it." Rather than taking it as rhetorical threefold amplification of a single commandment to bear children, Brother Sitati takes it as a commandment in three parts. First, to bring forth fruits of the spirit. Second, to bear and nurture children. Third, in the commandment to subdue/replenish the earth, he focuses on wise stewardship of the earth's resources. As a single, childless member, I appreciate this interpretation of Genesis 1:28, because I am able to more clearly see my role in fulfilling it, not in an anticipated future way, but here and now.
Russell M. Nelson
Is the Sabbath really a delight? For me it can be, but it isn't always. It is sometimes a struggle to continue to choose not to engage in school work on Sunday, but I've learned that I need to rest from one kind of mental work and focus on another; when I do so, I can return to my school work on Monday with renewed energy. I love to take Sunday naps, and it's the one day I don't ever feel guilty for dozing off instead of doing more work. Church attendance sometimes feels like a chore, but when I am sufficiently attending to my personal worship, then I am more able to enjoy the sacrament and appreciate the fellowship of my ward members, even if some of the talks or lessons are sometimes less edifying and more pro forma than they ought to be. One delight of my Sabbaths is the stream of family emails that trickle into my inbox over the course of the evening. Being miles away from any immediate family, I rejoice in this family bonding activity. Another delight comes when I answer the invitation to deeper study of the scriptures offered through my calling as a Sunday School teacher.
That's it, brothers and sisters. A closing song and prayer, and then it's farewell from the conference center for another six months. I kind of miss having closing remarks from President Monson, but I appreciate his age and need to conserve his strength. I was glad for his message this morning. God be with you till we meet again!
This blog post, by the mother of a child with dystonia, is such a great reminder of the perils of judging strangers. The author, Heather, writes about having her parenting judged by a stranger on a street corner—something I'm sure we've all seen (and maybe been guilty of ourselves). She then beautifully describes what can happen when you choose to exercise empathy and offer help, rather than judging.
I think part of the reason it resonated with me is that so many instances of misjudging parents involves children with "invisible" disabilities. And although I'm not a parent myself, that's something that strikes me right at home, because "invisible" disabilities affect people of all ages, including members of my family. So I want to add to the story by telling one of my own.
Image: A straight flight of stairs, at Porta Garibaldi sotterranea station, Milan.
At one of the universities where I've taught, the English department and the ROTC are in the same building. One morning as I stepped into the elevator on my way to my office on the 3rd floor, I was joined by a member of the faculty whose office was on the 2nd floor, as well as three cadets who were on their way to the 4th floor. As the professor stepped out on the 2nd floor and the doors were almost closed behind her, one of the cadets remarked that if she weren't too lazy to climb a single flight of stairs, maybe she could lose a few pounds and not need to take the elevator; the others laughed and nodded.
I glared, hoping that my disapproval of their hypocritical judgment was evident in my face, but said nothing. It was not my place to "out" my colleague. But I knew that she has MS, and I knew that meant taking the stairs was not an option for her. Even a short flight of stairs is a double hazard for a person whose motor skills have been affected by MS. She could easily slip and fall, and even if she didn't, taking that single flight of stairs would drastically deplete her already limited store of energy for the day.
I knew all this because my mom has MS, and not long before, she had lost her balance and fallen while simply hanging laundry outside on level ground, causing a broken hip that had to be surgically replaced. But I said nothing, because my colleague's disability was none of these strangers' business. Instead, I went to my office, closed the door, and angrily punched my chair as I fought back tears.
This dedicated teacher, and my mother, defied the MS odds because they were still walking on their own feet, without a cane or walker. They work hard to keep it that way, and part of that work involves avoiding even a few stairs whenever possible. But I realized that to these young men at the very peak of their physical condition, my colleague and my mother just looked like podgy old women who had let themselves go.
My mom still takes walks nearly every day. You can barely notice her unsteadiness—unless you know what to look for. I can spot a person with an MS walk; I've seen it all my life. But to the rest of the world, it's invisible. I've heard people whisper unkind things behind my mom's back for using the handicapped stall at a public toilet; they couldn't see that she needs the hand rail to get up and down safely. I've seen people glare at her for using one of those scooters at Wal-Mart, but then get up to reach something from a top shelf; they had no way of knowing that doing the grocery shopping, even with a little motorized help, would leave her exhausted for the rest of the day. But that's the whole point: they had no way of knowing. And it was none of their business, anyway.
So the next time you catch yourself judging a parent whose child is screaming in the middle of the cereal aisle, or a fat person stepping onto an elevator instead of taking the stairs, ask yourself: what don't you know about them? and why should you care? Hint: you should care. Of course you should. But caring is the opposite of judging.
Experienced writers know that the hardest part of writing isn't putting words on the page: it's revision. It's massaging and coaxing and wrestling and chiseling texts into the proper shape, the proper texture. I've been working on this article for a really, really long time. It's now in its 9th major revision, and it's 30 pages long, and last week, I realized that the bottom half of it needed some serious reorganizing. So I fell back on an old-school revision activity: the literal cut and paste.
It works like this. You take a printed copy of your paper (or in my case, thankfully, only half of it), and some scissors and glue, and you cut it into paragraphs. The glue is for pasting together the parts of paragraphs that span multiple pages. After your paper has been chopped into its component paragraphs, you mix them up and you find a large surface and you lay them out in your new order (this activity can be an interesting peer response technique too, if you let someone else rearrange them for you. Among other things, when somebody else tries to put your paper back together in the right order, you really start to get a sense of how important transitions are). Here's what my reassembled text-puzzle looked like:
Each column is a different subheading (though actually that first column contains two subheadings (one is transitional), and the remaining four are all sub-subheadings). The paragraphs with larger space between them are primarily transitional or meta-textual. The paragraphs on their sides didn't fit conceptually very well; that's my way of visually representing that they need to be heavily reworked or deleted (one of them was deleted, along with a bunch of bits of other paragraphs; the other three were reworked).
Using this method, I was able to get a birds-eye view or map of how my paper needed to be organized, which made my digital cutting & pasting much easier to manage. Of course I didn't exactly follow the map in the end. Reorganizing so many paragraphs required a lot of line-level revising too, and that in turn created alternate (and better, I think) organizational possibilities for the several paragraphs. It also gave me a better visual sense of how my sections were balanced than merely scrolling through a .doc could. And it offered me a fresh perspective on the text overall. After 9 revisions I was really having trouble seeing the trees for the forest; physically handling each paragraph individually was eye-opening.
I'm a proud tech nerd, but I have to admit that sometimes, low-tech solutions work better.
Now if only I could think of a better title, and a better conclusion for that beast.
I've had the flu for the past few days. Here's how I know I must be on the mend: tonight my slight OCD tendencies got the upper hand over fatigue.
I was putting Jane Eyre back in its place (I watched it on Sunday; watching chick flicks is a time-honored part of my healing process) and I noticed a bunch of my movies were out of order, and the sorting categories made no sense. Honestly, I have no idea what I was thinking the last time I tried to organize my movies--it was probably last time I was sick, actually. I'll blame Nyquil for the shelving insanity. Anyway, something obviously had to be done. I only have two shelves, but still too many movies to want to sort them merely alphabetically. Categorizing things is tricky, though.
The current disorganization and minimal shelf space left me with a dilemma: I would either have to sort my animated movies separately from my action/adventure/scifi/fantasy shows or else <gasp!> divide a category onto multiple shelves.
It was really a lesser of two evils kind of choice.
The up shot is, Pushing Daisies and The Truman Show feel so much better among the sci-fi/fantasy shows than they did among the dramas. Kenneth Branagh's Henry V still feels weird about being left behind in the drama section, but Luther (the biopic starring Joseph Fiennes; not the equally awesome but too-dark-for-me TV series with Idris Elba) thinks it should suck it up and enjoy its place in the order of things, because after all, Apollo 13 and October Sky never whine about being kept apart from the sci-fi movies (actually, Henry V is probably just sore because if it were on the upper shelf, it'd be roughly on top of Much Ado About Nothing--"there's a double meaning in that"). Meanwhile Ever After and Penelope got moved from fantasy to chick flicks and now they're planning an epic pajama party with all the Jane Austen movies. And the animated movies? They're sitting comfortably next to the much-neglected classic musicals, waiting for a family night.
I still wonder if I should stick my superhero movies all together in their own category. I have enough of them. But then where would I put The Incredibles? Animated or superhero? What about Unbreakable? It's sort of superhero, but super different than everything else in that class. And when I get the Guardians of the Galaxy blu-ray, what then? Luke Skywalker's gonna be all "Dude, come on! I am WAY more superpowered than Star Lord." THE MADNESS NEVER ENDS.
In case you're wondering: all but two of my Doctor Who discs are in one of those CaseLogic binders, along with all of Babylon 5, Buffy, Firefly, Quantum Leap, and Stargate SG-1. If it weren't for my sci-fi TV binder I'd need another two shelves. Yeah, I know. Chuck got left out. There just wasn't room.
